\u00ab\u00a0\u201cT\u00eb prek\u00ebsh t\u00eb padukshmen\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Vitet e studimit t\u00eb piktur\u00ebs dhe gravur\u00ebs n\u00eb Lice
\ndhe n\u00eb Institutin e Lart\u00eb t\u00eb Arteve (1969 \u2013 1977)\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00ab\u00a0Kam lindur n\u00eb vitin 1954 dhe f\u00ebmijeria ime ka kaluar mbi barin e njom\u00eb t\u00eb lagjes s\u00eb Kodr\u00ebs s\u00eb Kuqe mes fushave q\u00eb zbrisnin drejt lumit t\u00eb Tiran\u00ebs.
\nNj\u00eb \u00e7erek ore m\u00eb k\u00ebmb\u00eb nga qendra e Tiran\u00ebs, sht\u00ebpia ime ndodhej mes qindra sht\u00ebpijave t\u00eb vjetra tiranase t\u00eb nd\u00ebrtuara me qerpi\u00e7 e t\u00eb rrethuara nga kopshte private. Ishte zakon mes fqinj\u00ebve t\u00eb mir\u00eb, q\u00eb shpesh ishin kush\u00ebrinj, t\u00eb lihej mes tyre nj\u00eb port\u00eb e vog\u00ebl, q\u00eb lejonte t\u00eb kalohej nga nj\u00eb kop\u00ebsht n\u00eb tjetrin. Mes pem\u00ebve frutore dhe hijeve t\u00eb fresk\u00ebta aktivitetet tona p\u00ebrfitonin nga ky ambient dhe pafaj\u00ebsia e mosh\u00ebs. Akrobat\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, ne \u201cecnim\u201d mbi duar me dhjetra metra, mund t\u00eb them q\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebria ime ka ecur me duart, pra kok\u00ebposht\u00eb.
\nKjo praktik\u00eb e parjes mbrapsht t\u00eb bot\u00ebs, do t\u00eb b\u00ebhej nj\u00eb keqardhje e m\u00ebvonshme sa her\u00eb do t\u2019m\u00eb kujtohej. Kur binte muzgu, shum\u00eb shpejt Tirana zhytej n\u00eb err\u00ebsir\u00eb sepse vet\u00ebm qendra e qytetit ndri\u00e7ohej. M\u00eb tej, tek-tuk disa shtylla druri ndri\u00e7onin rrug\u00ebt. Kjo err\u00ebsir\u00eb n\u00eb vend q\u00eb ta pengonte e zhvilloi imagjinat\u00ebn time, s\u00eb bashku me lakuriq\u00ebt e nat\u00ebs n\u00eb qiellin e pafund shfaqeshin yjet e par\u00eb e m\u00eb pas kupola e ndri\u00e7uar e qiellit b\u00ebhej fusha e pafund, ku p\u00ebrfytyroja aventurat q\u00eb m\u00eb prisnin. Do t\u00eb ishte diktatura q\u00eb m\u00eb von\u00eb do t\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqej t\u00eb kufizonte e t\u00eb rob\u00ebronte imagjinat\u00ebn time.
\nI takoj brezit q\u00eb u edukua nga profesor\u00eb t\u00eb cil\u00ebt ishin p\u00ebrgatitur, pjesa m\u00eb e madhe, n\u00eb Bashkimin Sovjetik dhe pjesa tjet\u00ebr n\u00eb vende t\u00eb Lindjes si \u00c7ekosllovaki, Poloni etj. Gjith\u00e7ka b\u00ebhej p\u00ebr t\u00eb na imponuar nj\u00eb koncept piktural ekskluziv, at\u00eb t\u00eb realizmit socialist, i cili p\u00ebrjashtonte jo vet\u00ebm influencat e piktur\u00ebs bizantine, primitivizmin italian, vet\u00eb rilindjen italiane, piktur\u00ebn klasike, neoklasike, romantike, impresioniste, por sidomos \u00e7do ndikim t\u00eb piktur\u00ebs bashk\u00ebkohore per\u00ebndimore, t\u00eb shekullit XX.
\nN\u00eb krijimet tona ato q\u00eb duheshin asgjesuar, mbi t\u00eb cil\u00ebt duhej t\u00eb ishim t\u00eb pam\u00ebshirsh\u00ebm, ishin subjektivizmi dhe formalizmi, ngado q\u00eb t\u00eb vinin.
\nNe p\u00ebsonim n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri \u201cefektin flutura\u201d. Gj\u00ebja m\u00eb e vog\u00ebl, ndryshimi m\u00eb i pandjesh\u00ebm, nj\u00eb fraz\u00eb e th\u00ebn\u00eb nga udh\u00ebheq\u00ebsit n\u00eb Bashkimin Sovjetik e m\u00eb von\u00eb n\u00eb Kin\u00eb, kur arrinin tek ne, k\u00ebto \u201cm\u00ebsime drit\u00ebdh\u00ebn\u00ebse\u201d, transformoheshin n\u00eb stuhi p\u00ebrmbyt\u00ebse e katastrofa shpirt\u00ebrore. N\u00eb \u00e7do drejtim shkonim m\u00eb larg n\u00eb ndalimet se gjith\u00eb vendet e tjera t\u00eb Lindjes, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt i konsideronim pa p\u00ebrjashtim si revizioniste e tradh\u00ebtare t\u00eb marksiz\u00ebm \u2013 leninizmit.
\nFillova t\u00eb m\u00ebsoj fr\u00ebngjishten dhe italishten, vet\u00ebm, pa profesor, sapo hyra n\u00eb lice. Me shpejt\u00ebsi jam munduar t\u00eb filloj t\u00eb p\u00ebrkthej tekste t\u00eb shkurtra, poezi, artikuj, nga revista dhe libra arti. K\u00ebto p\u00ebrkthime ua kaloja edhe disa miqve tek t\u00eb cil\u00ebt kisha besim. N\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb po k\u00ebshtu m\u00eb binin edhe mua n\u00eb dor\u00eb tekste e libra t\u00eb p\u00ebrkthyer nga t\u00eb njohur e nga anonim\u00eb. N\u00eb vitin e fundit t\u00eb Liceut isha i autorizuar p\u00ebr t\u00eb p\u00ebrgatitur diplom\u00ebn e t\u00eb merrja libra n\u00eb bibliotek\u00ebn e Institutit t\u00eb Lart\u00eb t\u00eb Arteve. N\u00eb fakt diploma ime do t\u00eb mbrohej n\u00eb Deg\u00ebn e Grafik\u00ebs, kjo e fundit n\u00eb Lice sapo kishte hyr\u00eb dhe ishte hera e par\u00eb q\u00eb nj\u00eb nx\u00ebn\u00ebs i liceut e mbronte diplom\u00ebn n\u00eb Grafik\u00eb dhe isha i vetmi.
\nIshte hera e par\u00eb po ashtu q\u00eb pranimi i liceisteve n\u00eb Institutin e Lart\u00eb t\u00eb Arteve nuk do t\u00eb b\u00ebhej me konkurs, por nga vler\u00ebsimi q\u00eb komisioni do t\u2019u b\u00ebnte diplomave. N\u00eb diplom\u00eb paraqita mbi 10 gravura, t\u00eb realizuara n\u00eb teknik\u00ebn e linoleumit. Pak libra kishte p\u00ebr t\u00eb konsultuar mbi gravur\u00ebn n\u00eb bibliotek\u00ebn e Institutit. Profesor\u00ebt e mij ishin improvizuar student\u00ebt e vitit t\u00eb fundit t\u00eb Institutit, njohjet e tyre ishin t\u00eb kufizuara, si shembuj mund t\u00eb na tregonin veprat e disa piktor\u00ebve t\u00eb brezit paraprir\u00ebs dhe disa riprodhime t\u00eb zgjedhura me kujdes nga shekulli XIX si: K\u00e4the Kollwitz, Th\u00e9ophile Steinler, Jean-Fran\u00e7ois Millet dhe mbi shekullin XX shembuj si Franc Masereel por kurr\u00eb nj\u00eb gravur\u00eb bashk\u00ebkohore.
\nMjetet mungonin mizorisht. Pasi gdhendja gravurat n\u00eb linoleum duhej t\u2019i shtypja me forc\u00ebn e krahut sepse nuk kishim pres\u00eb. Mungesa e materialeve, si n\u00eb lice ashtu edhe m\u00eb von\u00eb n\u00eb Institut do t\u00eb na pengonte edhe njohjen e tyre. Ne njihnim cil\u00ebsine m\u00eb t\u00eb dob\u00ebt t\u00eb penelave q\u00eb egzistonin, t\u00eb bojrave t\u00eb vajit po ashtu, dhe teknikisht askush nuk na m\u00ebsonte si mund t\u00eb realizojm\u00eb nj\u00eb \u201csfumato\u201d, nj\u00eb velatur\u00eb apo \u00e7\u2019ndryshim kishte nd\u00ebrmjet nj\u00eb pikture klasike franceze dhe barokut italian. Piktura realizohej duke u sforcuar, n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet prishjes, n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb empirike, sepse nuk kishim njohuri p\u00ebr t\u00eb nd\u00ebrtuar teknikisht etapat e ndryshme, q\u00eb duhen zot\u00ebruar e njohur p\u00ebr t\u00eb realizuar nj\u00eb vep\u00ebr. Gj\u00ebja e par\u00eb q\u00eb shihje n\u00eb nj\u00eb piktur\u00eb ishte mundimi q\u00eb kishte hequr autori p\u00ebr ta b\u00ebr\u00eb, nganj\u00ebhere st\u00ebrmundimi, aq sa t\u00eb vinte keq p\u00ebr t\u00eb mjerin piktor.
\nE keqja m\u00eb e madhe ishte se nuk kishim me k\u00eb ta krahasonim k\u00ebt\u00eb krijimtari, kjo ishte e pamundur p\u00ebr autor\u00ebt por edhe p\u00ebr publikun. I vetmi krahasim ishte nd\u00ebrmjet nj\u00ebri-tjetrit, gj\u00eb q\u00eb solli vetvetiu uniformitet.
\nSidoqoft\u00eb gravurat q\u00eb realizova n\u00eb diplom\u00ebn e liceut dhe vler\u00ebsimi q\u00eb i b\u00ebri komisioni m\u00eb lejuan t\u00eb pranohem n\u00eb Institutin e Lart\u00eb t\u00eb Arteve.
\nI isha mir\u00ebnjoh\u00ebs komisionit, megjith\u00ebse do t\u00eb ishte nj\u00eb pjes\u00eb e madhe e k\u00ebtij komisioni q\u00eb disa vite m\u00eb von\u00eb do t\u00eb m\u00eb pengonte t\u00eb ekspozoja p\u00ebr nj\u00eb koh\u00eb t\u00eb gjat\u00eb. Nga diskutimet e shumta q\u00eb u b\u00ebn\u00eb mbi grafikat m\u00eb b\u00ebri p\u00ebrshtypje diskutimi i nj\u00eb piktori q\u00eb nuk e njihja. Kur pyeta se kush ishte m\u2019u p\u00ebrgjigj\u00ebn: \u201cDo t\u00eb ishte m\u00eb mir\u00eb p\u00ebr ty t\u00eb mos kishte folur e t\u00eb lavd\u00ebronte, se an\u00ebtar\u00ebt e komisionit nuk e duan, quhet Llambi Blido.\u201d.
\nShum\u00eb shpejt nj\u00eb miq\u00ebsi e fort\u00eb do t\u00eb m\u00eb lidhte me Llambin dhe dashuria e tij p\u00ebr artin, krijimet dhe k\u00ebrkimet e tij, q\u00eb nuk kishin t\u00eb b\u00ebnin aspak me artin e realizmit socialist do t\u00eb b\u00ebheshin p\u00ebr mua nj\u00eb frym\u00ebzim i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm.
\nStudent n\u00eb Institutin e Arteve, \u00e7far\u00eb lumturie, por kjo lumturi nuk do t\u00eb zgjaste shum\u00eb. N\u00eb vitin e par\u00eb n\u00eb Institut fal\u00eb njohjes s\u00eb gjuh\u00ebve dhe bibliotekave t\u00eb kryeqytetit, mund t\u00eb konsultoja mjaft libra, t\u00eb
\nkrahasoja dhe t\u00eb kuptoja hendekun e jasht\u00ebzakonsh\u00ebm, q\u00eb ndante artin q\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqeshin t\u00eb m\u00eb m\u00ebsonin, me artin per\u00ebndimor. Kuptova r\u00ebnd\u00ebsin\u00eb e k\u00ebrkimeve teorike dhe n\u00eb shkrime mbi punimet e shok\u00ebve t\u00eb mi t\u00eb klas\u00ebs, apo n\u00eb diskutimet mbi artin mundohesha mes frazave t\u00eb sillja koncepte t\u00eb reja p\u00ebr ne si student\u00eb.
\nN\u00eb fillim k\u00ebto diskutime u p\u00ebrkrah\u00ebn edhe nga vet\u00eb dekani yn\u00eb, i cili m\u00eb shtyu q\u00eb artikujt e diskutuar t\u00eb viheshin n\u00eb muret e Institutit, e s\u00eb bashku me Zana Varvaric\u00ebn p\u00ebr ca kohe u kujdes\u00ebm q\u00eb kjo iniciativ\u00eb t\u00eb vazhdonte. Po n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb vit profesori im i piktur\u00ebs duke par\u00eb p\u00ebrpjekjet e mia p\u00ebr t\u00eb krijuar n\u00eb tablo nj\u00eb harmoni ngjyrash t\u00eb pavarur nga natyra e qet\u00eb q\u00eb ai na kishte vendosur e duhej t\u00eb imitonim shfaqi dyshimin se mos isha daltonik. Kurr\u00eb nuk duhej t\u00eb largoheshim nga realiteti, ai duhej kopjuar besnik\u00ebrisht. Kjo m\u00eb b\u00ebri q\u00eb vitin e dyt\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebrkoj t\u00eb shkoj drejt artit grafik, ku t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn do t\u00eb imitoja realitetin n\u00eb bardh e zi.
\nRaporti i profesor\u00ebve t\u00eb mi me imitimin e realitetit nuk ishte i kusht\u00ebzuar vet\u00ebm nga mungesa e tyre e kultur\u00ebs, (kishte mes tyre q\u00eb ishin t\u00eb kultivuar dhe me shije). Ky raport ishte kusht\u00ebzuar nga politika e partis\u00eb, d\u00ebnimi i formalizmit dhe subjektivizmit. Megjithat\u00eb nj\u00eb pjes\u00eb e profesor\u00ebve nuk shikonin pa interes se \u00e7\u2019ndodhte n\u00ebp\u00ebr bot\u00eb. Disa shkonin edhe m\u00eb larg, n\u00eb punimet e tyre mund t\u00eb gjeje influenca t\u00eb huaja, po ashtu, m\u00eb pak n\u00eb veprat e tyre monumentale dhe shum\u00eb m\u00eb ndjesh\u00ebm n\u00eb vepra t\u00eb dimensioneve t\u00eb vogla. E megjithat\u00eb kufizimi i tyre n\u00eb pranimin e mjeteve plastike t\u00eb realizimit t\u00eb nj\u00eb vepre, raporti me influencat e koh\u00ebrave t\u00eb ndryshme n\u00eb art ishte tejet i ngrir\u00eb dhe i kufizuar, shum\u00eb m\u00eb i varf\u00ebr se n\u00eb vendet e tjera t\u00eb Lindjes. N\u00eb artin e tyre nuk gjeje kurr\u00eb intimitet, piktura e tyre ishte e jashtme, pa t\u00eb ardhme, n\u00eb t\u00eb mungonin ndjenjat m\u00eb elementare si g\u00ebzimi, dhimbja, shpresa p\u00ebr t\u00eb mos folur p\u00ebr ndjenja m\u00eb t\u00eb nuancuara e m\u00eb t\u00eb rafinuara si soditja, p\u00ebrd\u00ebllimi, reflektimi, melankolia apo ndjenja q\u00eb na prekin n\u00eb nj\u00eb piktur\u00eb, por nuk arrijm\u00eb dot t\u2019i gjejm\u00eb nj\u00eb em\u00ebr, sepse \u00ebsht\u00eb autori q\u00eb i ka zbuluar.
\nNga fundi i vitit t\u00eb dyt\u00eb duhej t\u00eb paraqisja skica e vizatime mbi idet\u00eb q\u00eb kisha p\u00ebr project-diplom\u00ebn. Megjith\u00ebse pat\u00ebm nj\u00eb afat t\u00eb shkurt\u00ebr p\u00ebr t\u00eb propozuar\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a0idet\u00eb, pata punuar n\u00eb maksimum dhe arrita t\u00eb p\u00ebrgatis shtat\u00eb kompozime t\u00eb punuara me laps e boj\u00eb kine, mbi tem\u00ebn e Luft\u00ebs Nacional \u00c7lirimtare p\u00ebr \u00e7lirimin e Tiran\u00ebs. Komisioni prej 15 vet\u00ebsh, skulptor\u00eb, piktor\u00eb, grafist\u00eb, skenograf\u00eb, ishte i p\u00ebrb\u00ebr\u00eb nga krijuesit m\u00eb n\u00eb z\u00eb t\u00eb asaj kohe. Ishte p\u00ebrher\u00eb (me ndryshime te pandjeshme) po ky komision, q\u00eb vendoste p\u00ebr punimet q\u00eb do t\u00eb pranoheshin apo jo edhe n\u00ebp\u00ebr ekspozita komb\u00ebtare.
\nN\u00eb hyrjen q\u00eb i b\u00ebra projekt-diplom\u00ebs, u shpjegova q\u00eb kompozimet q\u00eb kisha realizuar ishin influencuar nga libri me kujtime, shkruar nga kryeministri Mehmet Shehu, q\u00eb kishte udh\u00ebhequr k\u00ebt\u00eb luft\u00eb dhe ishte heroi i saj.
\nP\u00ebr \u00e7udi diskutuesi i par\u00eb do t\u00eb ishte kryetari i komisionit q\u00eb zakonisht mbyllte diskutimet. Ai theksoi q\u00eb n\u00eb kompozimet e mia nuk ishte paraqitur lufta heroike e partizan\u00ebve tan\u00eb, p\u00ebrkundrazi \u00e7do kompozim ishte deheroik, q\u00eb paraqitja e luft\u00ebs s\u00eb Tiran\u00ebs ishte revizionuar dhe gjykimi im mbi t\u00eb ishte i gabuar.
\nTi, \u2013 m\u00eb tha kryetari duke m\u2019u drejtuar, \u2013 nuk je frym\u00ebzuar si\u00e7 thua nga libri i kryeministrit ton\u00eb, por p\u00ebrkundrazi je frym\u00ebzuar nga libri i Ismail Kadares\u00eb mbi luft\u00ebn e Tiran\u00ebs (ky lib\u00ebr n\u00eb fakt s\u2019kishte shum\u00eb q\u00eb ishte botuar). Ajo q\u00eb m\u00eb \u00e7uditi ishte se kryetari fliste p\u00ebr t\u00eb sikur ishte duke folur p\u00ebr nj\u00eb autor dhe lib\u00ebr t\u00eb ndaluar dhe revizionist, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb libri ishte n\u00eb qarkullim dhe as ishte ndaluar e as kritikuar. P\u00ebrse ky qendrim dhe kujt i drejtohej ky inat dhe mllef, nj\u00eb armiq\u00ebsi me Kadaren\u00eb? N\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb njihesha me Kadaren\u00eb. Ai m\u00eb kishte shprehur d\u00ebshir\u00ebn t\u2019i b\u00ebja kopertina p\u00ebr librat e tij dhe tashm\u00eb nj\u00eb kopertin\u00eb e nj\u00eb v\u00ebllimi me poezi ishte botuar, por kopertina q\u00eb i b\u00ebra p\u00ebr ribotimin e \u201cDimrit t\u00eb madh\u201d dhe q\u00eb atij i p\u00eblqeu shum\u00eb, u ndalua t\u00eb botohej pas nd\u00ebrhyrjes n\u00eb Lidhjen e Shkrimtar\u00ebve dhe Artist\u00ebve, ku vet\u00eb sekretari p\u00ebr artet figurative, Kujtim Buza (i cili ka qen\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb dashamir\u00ebs ndaj meje) u detyrua t\u2019m\u00eb th\u00ebrras\u00eb n\u00eb zyr\u00ebn e tij p\u00ebr t\u2019m\u00eb ndaluar t\u00eb vazhdoj t\u00eb b\u00ebj kopertina p\u00ebr Kadaren\u00eb.
\n\u201cKopertinat duhet t\u2019i b\u00ebjn\u00eb piktor\u00ebt q\u00eb jan\u00eb pun\u00ebsuar p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb n\u00eb shtypshkronj\u00ebn \u201cNaim Frash\u00ebri\u201d, \u2013 m\u00eb tha ai. Kryetari i komisionit vazhdoi duke m\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb ndoshta n\u00eb k\u00ebto idera m\u00eb kishin \u00e7uar edhe frekuentimet e mia, si ato me piktorin Llambi Blido, me t\u00eb cilin sipas tij nuk duhej t\u00eb vazhdoja m\u00eb t\u00eb shoq\u00ebrohesha.
\nIshte projekt-diploma ime q\u00eb e shqet\u00ebsonte apo frekuentimet e mia me ata q\u00eb ai nuk duronte? Llambi Blido ishte prej koh\u00ebsh artist i refuzuar dhe prej dy vitesh nj\u00eb mik i v\u00ebrtet\u00eb e i rrall\u00eb. Mblidheshim shpesh pran\u00eb mikut ton\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrbashk\u00ebt e tejet t\u00eb \u00e7muar, Burhan Camit.
\nTi, \u2013 vazhdoi kryetari, \u2013 duhej t\u00eb shikoje m\u00eb nga af\u00ebr veprat e realizuara n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb kuad\u00ebr nga artist\u00ebt
\ntan\u00eb t\u00eb shquar, duhej t\u00eb kishe par\u00eb nga af\u00ebr \u201cPartizanin e panjohur\u201d t\u00eb Andreas p.sh. (Andrea Mano skulptor, kishte realizuar k\u00ebt\u00eb vep\u00ebr n\u00eb 1949 dhe ishte i pranish\u00ebm n\u00eb diskutim si an\u00ebtar i komisionit). Kryetari vazhdoi duke iu drejtuar Andreas: \u201c\u00c7\u2019mendon ti Andrea, mbi partizan\u00ebt e Bujarit dhe k\u00ebto kompozime?\u201d.
\nE po Andrea i shkret\u00eb q\u00eb ishte prej koh\u00ebsh pensionist, n\u00eb ato kushte edhe po t\u00eb kishte simpati p\u00ebr pun\u00ebn time nuk do t\u00eb fliste kurr\u00eb mir\u00eb p\u00ebr partizan\u00ebt e mi. I nxiu e i groposi aq sa i lejoi pleq\u00ebria dhe servilizmi. Nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr an\u00ebtar i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm i komisionit mori fjal\u00ebn dhe m\u00eb forc\u00eb theksoi q\u00eb kritikat e kryetarit ishin shprehur me but\u00ebsi, se kompozimet e mia meritonin kritika shum\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb rrepta. Pik\u00ebrisht n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb moment nj\u00ebri nga an\u00ebtar\u00ebt e komisionit mori n\u00eb dor\u00eb nj\u00eb nga vizatimet p\u00ebr ta par\u00eb m\u00eb nga af\u00ebr. Nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr pran\u00eb tij pa q\u00eb vizatimi kishte nj\u00eb ilustrim prapa dhe p\u00ebr kuriozitet e ktheu ta shihte. O Zot, sakrilegj, pas vizatimit tim n\u00eb verso t\u00eb flet\u00ebs ishte riprodhuar nj\u00eb portret i pikturuar i Stalinit. Nj\u00eb indinjim i thell\u00eb dhe i menj\u00ebhersh\u00ebm u shfaq n\u00eb fytyrat e an\u00ebtar\u00ebve t\u00eb komisionit.
\nKisha shkuar shum\u00eb larg, asnj\u00eb respekt p\u00ebr artin e realizmit socialist, (piktori q\u00eb kishte realizuar portretin e Stalinit ndoshta kishte qen\u00eb n\u00eb Bashkimin Sovjetik, profesor i an\u00ebtar\u00ebve t\u00eb komisionit), asnj\u00eb respekt p\u00ebr figur\u00ebn e Stalinit, masat q\u00eb duheshin marr\u00eb ndaj meje u b\u00ebn\u00eb t\u00eb paevitueshme.
\nSado q\u00eb nd\u00ebrhyra p\u00ebr t\u2019u shpjeguar q\u00eb kjo kishte ndodhur p\u00ebr munges\u00eb letre (dhe ishte e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, e kishim tep\u00ebr t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb kishim letra p\u00ebr t\u00eb vizatuar, letra me portretin e Stalinit, n\u00eb verso t\u00eb s\u00eb cil\u00ebs kisha vizatuar, ishte pjes\u00eb e nj\u00eb albumi t\u00eb botuar n\u00eb Bashkimin Sovjetik q\u00eb m\u00eb kishte r\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb dor\u00eb dhe m\u00eb sh\u00ebrbente jo p\u00ebr riprodhimet q\u00eb kishte, por p\u00ebr verson e faqeve q\u00eb ishin bosh dhe letra me cil\u00ebsi, mbi t\u00eb cilat mund t\u00eb vizatoja), ata as m\u00eb d\u00ebgjuan. Komisioni vendosi t\u2019m\u00eb nxjerr\u00eb n\u00eb koridor ku duhej t\u00eb prisja \u00e7far\u00eb do t\u00eb vendosnin p\u00ebr mua. Prita n\u00eb ankth rreth nj\u00eb gjys\u00ebm ore dhe m\u00eb n\u00eb fund m\u00eb rifuten brenda. Me nj\u00eb ton hak\u00ebrrues m\u00eb deklaruan q\u00eb projekt-diploma ime ishte anulluar, q\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb vit isha i p\u00ebrjashtuar dhe q\u00eb gjat\u00eb k\u00ebtij viti duhej t\u00eb gjeja nj\u00eb ide tjet\u00ebr p\u00ebr t\u00eb mbrojtur m\u00eb von\u00eb diplom\u00ebn.
\nSapo kisha humbur v\u00ebllain, q\u00eb vdiq aksidentalisht n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 30-vje\u00e7are, ai ishte mb\u00ebshtetja ime dhe e motr\u00ebs q\u00eb po ashtu kishte filluar universitetin. Kishim mbetur vet\u00ebm me pensionin e babait dhe ky vendim p\u00ebr t\u2019m\u00eb zgjatur afatin e mbarimit t\u00eb Institutit nj\u00eb vit m\u00eb von\u00eb m\u00eb futi n\u00eb nj\u00eb depresion e n\u00eb nj\u00eb udh\u00eb pa krye.
\nNga premtimet p\u00ebr t\u2019m\u00eb mbajtur si profesor n\u00eb Institut, (t\u00eb b\u00ebra nga vet\u00eb kryetari i komisionit dy vite m\u00eb par\u00eb), apo p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb piktor i dekoreve n\u00eb opera, premtime t\u00eb sekretariatit t\u00eb Partis\u00eb s\u00eb Operas dhe Baletit, q\u00eb ishte profesor i filozofis\u00eb n\u00eb Institut, kur mbarova studimet, m\u00eb propozuan t\u00eb shkoj n\u00eb Berat si profesor vizatimi.Pas refuzimit p\u00ebr t\u00eb shkuar n\u00eb Berat, m\u2019u desh\u00ebn p\u00ebrpjekje t\u00eb m\u00ebdha, dit\u00eb, jav\u00eb e muaj, me shum\u00eb se nje vit pa pun\u00eb, or\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00ebra n\u00ebp\u00ebr zyra, q\u00eb t\u00eb arrij m\u00eb n\u00eb fund t\u00eb filloj pun\u00eb n\u00eb kinostudion \u201cShqiperia e re\u201d, si piktor kostumesh. Kinostudio m\u00eb krijoi mund\u00ebsin\u00eb
\nq\u00eb t\u00eb gjej shpejt iden\u00eb me t\u00eb cil\u00ebn mund t\u00eb mbroja diplom\u00ebn. Propozova ta mbroj me afishe filmash. S\u2019kishte m\u00eb asnj\u00eb rrezik t\u00eb gaboja, mjaftonte t\u00eb ilustroja n\u00eb pun\u00ebt e mia filmat e aprovuar tashm\u00eb
\nnga shum\u00eb komisione. Ideja ime u pranua dhe p\u00ebrgatita p\u00ebr diplom\u00ebn 10 afishe filmi nd\u00ebrmjet t\u00eb cilave gati gjysma u shtyp\u00ebn dhe u vun\u00eb n\u00eb qarkullim se u b\u00ebn\u00eb p\u00ebr filma q\u00eb sapo u prodhuan. Diploma u vler\u00ebsua me not\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb, nj\u00eb kapitull i jet\u00ebs sime u mbyll.
\nM\u00eb n\u00eb fund zyrtarisht i diplomuar si grafist. Kisha hyr\u00eb n\u00eb piktur\u00eb si\u00e7 kalohet p\u00ebrmes mjegull\u00ebs, askush p\u00ebr t\u2019m\u00eb m\u00ebsuar si duhej par\u00eb, duke avancuar pothuajse i verb\u00ebr. N\u00eb fakt do t\u00eb kishte qen\u00eb e arsyeshme t\u00eb kishte ndodhur e kund\u00ebrta, n\u00eb fillim t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj rruge duhet t\u2019na ndihmonin t\u00eb shikonim dhe vet\u00ebm pasi t\u00eb kishim par\u00eb mir\u00eb, t\u00eb vazhdonim verb\u00ebrisht udh\u00ebn.
\nMund t\u00eb punoja tashm\u00eb p\u00ebr vete, n\u00eb izolimin e atelierit, pa qen\u00eb i detyruar t\u00eb imitoj n\u00eb nj\u00eb gjuh\u00eb plastike arbitrare realitetin.
\nKisha kuptuar tashm\u00eb q\u00eb politika ishte jo vet\u00ebm pa interes n\u00eb syt\u00eb e mi, por mbi t\u00eb gjitha e neveritshme me nivelin dhe posht\u00ebrsit\u00eb e saj, q\u00eb atdheu, ashtu si\u00e7 prezantohej nga komunist\u00ebt p\u00ebr mua nuk mund t\u00eb ishte gjith\u00e7ka. Leximet e ungjijve t\u00eb ndaluar m\u00eb kishin frym\u00ebzuar Zotin si finalitet i dashuris\u00eb dhe q\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb Zot do ta gjeja brenda vetes. Isha i bindur q\u00eb njeriu i thjesht\u00eb, me shpirtin e tij t\u00eb past\u00ebr ishte v\u00ebrtet superior ndaj qytetarit t\u00eb politizuar. Doja t\u00eb isha nj\u00eb njeri i mir\u00eb.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00ab\u00a01977 \u2013 1990\u2033
\nSapo mbarova Institutin e Lart\u00eb t\u00eb Arteve,pikturova nj\u00eb tablo dhe e d\u00ebrgova p\u00ebr t\u00eb marr\u00eb pjes\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb ekspozit\u00eb komb\u00ebtare. Komisioni i ekspozit\u00ebs e refuzoi vepr\u00ebn, e cila ishte mbi luft\u00ebn e Tiran\u00ebs. P\u00ebr t\u00eb ditur arsyen e atij refuzimi b\u00ebra p\u00ebrpjekje dhe m\u00eb n\u00eb fund arrita t\u00eb pyes drejtp\u00ebrdrejt kryetarin e komisionit t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj ekspozite, i cili m\u2019u p\u00ebrgjigj duke m\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb:
\n\u201cArsyeja e mospranimit \u00ebsht\u00eb se tabloja \u00ebsht\u00eb romantike\u201d. Mora guximin ta pyes ku q\u00ebndronte romantizmi i saj. \u201cTek rrobat e reja t\u00eb personazheve dhe aspekti i l\u00ebmuar i sip\u00ebrfaqes s\u00eb pikturuar\u201d, \u2013 m\u2019u p\u00ebrgjigj pa hezituar dhe krejt\u00ebsisht i sigurt\u00eb.
\nKurr\u00eb nuk mund t\u00eb prisja nj\u00eb fraz\u00eb m\u00eb absurde p\u00ebr t\u00eb p\u00ebrmbledhur nj\u00eb rrym\u00eb si Romantizmi. Si mund t\u00eb diskutoje pas nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjeje t\u00eb till\u00eb?
\nDisa muaj m\u00eb von\u00eb nj\u00eb kompozim tjet\u00ebr mbi luft\u00ebn e Vlor\u00ebs pati t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin fat, p\u00ebr t\u00eb nuk arrita t\u00eb marr asnj\u00eb shpjegim. Komisioni shpeshher\u00eb ishte i papenetruesh\u00ebm.
\nN\u00eb vitin 1979 xhironim filmin \u00abLiri a Vdekje\u00bb, mbi heroin \u00c7er\u00e7iz Topulli, isha krijuesi i kostumeve t\u00eb filmit. Heroin t\u00eb mish\u00ebruar nga aktori i famsh\u00ebm Timo Flloko e kisha \u00e7do dit\u00eb pran\u00eb. Nj\u00eb dit\u00eb i propozova Timos n\u00ebse mund t\u00eb m\u00eb q\u00ebndronte model i veshur dhe i grimuar n\u00eb rolin e \u00c7er\u00e7izit, q\u00eb t\u2019i b\u00ebja nj\u00eb portret p\u00ebr ta propozuar n\u00eb ekspozit\u00ebn e ardhshme.Timo pranoi dhe portreti u realizua. Duke d\u00ebshiruar q\u00eb v\u00ebrtet kjo vep\u00ebr t\u00eb aprovohej nga komisioni u interesova dhe u informova se kush do t\u00eb ishte kryetari i komisionit dhe p\u00ebr t\u2019u siguruar q\u00eb vepra ishte n\u00eb rrug\u00eb t\u00eb pranueshme k\u00ebrkova ta takoj e t\u2019ia tregoj pun\u00ebn p\u00ebr t\u00eb par\u00eb n\u00ebse
\nai do t\u00eb kishte v\u00ebrejtje t\u00eb cilat mund t\u2019i korigjoja nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb.
\nKryetari pranoi t\u00eb m\u00eb takoj\u00eb e s\u2019pati asnj\u00eb v\u00ebrejtje p\u00ebr portretin, por k\u00ebrkoi q\u00eb t\u2019i shtoja nj\u00eb gryk\u00eb pushke, gj\u00eb q\u00eb e b\u00ebra. Pas k\u00ebsaj isha i sigurt q\u00eb portreti do t\u00eb
\nishte n\u00eb ekspozit\u00eb, por pasi kalova gjith\u00eb sall\u00ebn e pash\u00eb q\u00eb edhe k\u00ebt\u00eb her\u00eb s\u2019kishte ecur. Ishte refuzuar, sepse sipas komisionit n\u00eb piktur\u00ebn time portreti i \u00c7er\u00e7izit, t\u00eb kujtonte portretin e Krishtit.
\nMegjith\u00ebse nuk ishte e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb kuptoje se \u00e7\u2019k\u00ebrkonte komisioni, shum\u00eb artist\u00eb prisnin gjithmon\u00eb me ankth, n\u00ebse vepra e tyre do t\u00eb pranohej apo jo. Mospranimi s\u2019kishte t\u00eb b\u00ebnte vet\u00ebm me influencat e huaja, por mbi t\u00eb gjitha me synimin q\u00eb kishte komisioni p\u00ebr t\u00eb sunduar n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb definitive mbi koshienc\u00ebn e secilit prej artist\u00ebve, p\u00ebr t\u2019i bindur ata q\u00eb vet\u00ebm komisioni zot\u00ebronte t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebn n\u00eb art dhe mund ta vinte n\u00eb zbatim. Askush s\u2019mund ta dinte ve\u00e7 tyre (megjith\u00ebse dyshoj q\u00eb edhe ata vet\u00eb nuk e dinin) ku ishte kufiri mes t\u00eb lejuar\u00ebs dhe t\u00eb ndaluar\u00ebs, kjo gj\u00eb i lejonte komisionit t\u00eb b\u00ebnte gjykime arbitrare t\u00eb pakund\u00ebrshtueshme, deri tekanjoze. Kushdo ishte n\u00eb dor\u00ebn e komisionit.\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a0Tentativat e mia p\u00ebr t\u00eb ekspozuar pas k\u00ebtyre d\u00ebshtimeve u rralluan, megjithat\u00eb her\u00eb pas here p\u00ebr t\u00eb justifikuar t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn e blerjes s\u00eb materialeve t\u00eb piktur\u00ebs n\u00eb dyqanin e vet\u00ebm, ku materialet
\nshp\u00ebrndaheshin (jo falas sigurisht), e ku duhej q\u00eb emri yt t\u00eb figuronte n\u00eb nj\u00eb list\u00eb t\u00eb aprovuar nga Lidhja e Shkrimtar\u00ebve dhe Artist\u00ebve, ku artist\u00ebt e merituar mund t\u00eb blinin materiale me cil\u00ebsi t\u00eb lart\u00eb dhe t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt cil\u00ebsine e ul\u00ebt, si dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb marr\u00eb lejen krijuese (nj\u00eb muaj n\u00eb vit) vazhdoja t\u00eb d\u00ebrgoja punime n\u00ebp\u00ebr ekspozita, kryesisht peisazhe, por tashm\u00eb pa shpresuar m\u00eb se nj\u00eb dit\u00eb do t\u00eb ekspozohesha,
\npunime q\u00eb m\u00eb k\u00ebrkonin m\u00eb pak mund.
\nPor edhe k\u00ebto tentativa pa pretendime mbeten jasht\u00eb ekspozitave, gjithmon\u00eb t\u00eb shoq\u00ebruara me fraz\u00ebn \u201cka influenca t\u00eb artit per\u00ebndimor\u201d .
\nNuk isha dhe nuk doja t\u00eb isha nj\u00eb revolucionar. \u201cRevolucionar\u00ebt\u201d ishin ata q\u00eb kishin rr\u00ebzuar dhe shkat\u00ebrruar \u00e7do gj\u00eb q\u00eb doja, ata s\u2019mund t\u00eb ishin nj\u00eb shembull p\u00ebr mua, nuk doja t\u00eb vazhdoja e t\u00eb b\u00ebja t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin gabim, dhuna nuk m\u00eb p\u00ebrshtatej.
\nRefuzoja t\u2019i imitoja, t\u00eb ndiqja idet\u00eb e tyre, b\u00ebja t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt\u00ebn n\u00eb intimitetin e studios, e miqve t\u00eb mi, gjithmon\u00eb koshient q\u00eb kjo nuk mjaftonte p\u00ebr t\u2019i rr\u00ebzuar, gjithmon\u00eb duke shpresuar q\u00eb ikja nga vendi im si e vetmja rrug\u00ebdalje, t\u00eb b\u00ebhej e mundur nj\u00eb dit\u00eb.
\nE dija po ashtu q\u00eb ideali im sa koh\u00eb t\u00eb isha n\u00ebn k\u00ebt\u00eb regjim, do t\u00eb ishte ose nj\u00eb utopi, ose nj\u00eb drejtim pa rrug\u00ebdalje, por mendoja sidoqoft\u00eb q\u00eb po ta p\u00ebrsosja k\u00ebt\u00eb ideal p\u00ebrher\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb e ta ruaja n\u00eb shpirt do t\u00eb isha t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn n\u00eb paqe me vehten.
\nNd\u00ebr piktor\u00ebt e refuzuar, isha nga m\u00eb t\u00eb rinjt\u00eb n\u00eb mosh\u00eb, gjenerata para meje kishte tashm\u00eb jo pak artist\u00eb t\u00eb d\u00ebnuar me burgim p\u00ebr influenca t\u00eb huaja. Disa piktor\u00eb kishin zgjedhur \u201cnj\u00eb jet\u00eb t\u00eb n\u00ebndheshme\u201d, n\u00eb heshtje b\u00ebnin p\u00ebrpjekje p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjetur n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet artit t\u00eb tyre vetveten. Burgosja e Edison Gjergos, Ali Osekut, Maks Velos p\u00ebr influenca t\u00eb artit per\u00ebndimor n\u00eb veprat e tyre, p\u00ebr tentativa subjektive dhe kund\u00ebr revolucionare n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn e reflektimit t\u00eb jet\u00ebs, n\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u2019i largonte disa artist\u00eb i shtyu m\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb binin n\u00eb krah\u00ebt e \u201cMuz\u00ebs s\u00eb ndaluar\u201d . N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb grup piktor\u00ebsh, ku b\u00ebja pjes\u00eb, askush nuk kishte prirje p\u00ebr
\nt\u00eb qen\u00eb nj\u00eb martir.
\nT\u00eb ngjash\u00ebm me personazhet e Kafk\u00ebs, ne pranonim t\u00eb mbeteshim t\u00eb panjohur p\u00ebr publikun, por ne kishim krijuar nje mikrounivers \u00ebndrre, ndoshta makthi, ku miqt\u00eb tan\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb af\u00ebrt merrnin pjes\u00eb. Llambi Blido, Besim Tula, Alush Shima, Ali Oseku, Agim Mujo, etj. vazhdonin t\u00eb punonin p\u00ebr vete. Megjith\u00ebse ata vet\u00eb ishin pa shpres\u00eb e t\u00eb d\u00ebshp\u00ebruar, n\u00eb pikturat e tyre
\nn\u00eb shumic\u00ebn e rasteve kishte ngjyra t\u00eb fresk\u00ebta e t\u00eb shndritshme sikur donin t\u00eb refuzonin k\u00ebt\u00eb jet\u00eb n\u00eb hije. S\u00eb bashku kemi mundur t\u00eb kuptojm\u00eb vler\u00ebn e faljes, aty ku n\u00eb fakt kishte vet\u00ebm d\u00ebnime, t\u00eb k\u00ebrkonim shije ku kishte vet\u00ebm vulgaritet.
\n\u00c7do vep\u00ebr e mbaruar p\u00ebrfundonte tek un\u00eb e mbyllur me \u00e7el\u00ebs n\u00eb nj\u00eb dollap t\u00eb vjet\u00ebr. Si n\u00eb poezin\u00eb e Rimbaud \u201cLe Buffet\u201d duke i hapur portat nuk dihej se \u00e7far\u00eb historish mund t\u00eb na tregonin k\u00ebto \u201cMuza t\u00eb drynosura\u201d.
\nRefuzimet e punimeve t\u00eb mia do t\u00eb zgjasnin nga viti 1977, vit i mbarimit t\u00eb Institutit t\u00eb Lart\u00eb t\u00eb Arteve, deri n\u00eb vitin 1989. Nj\u00eb ekspozit\u00eb personale u b\u00eb e mundur n\u00eb vitin 1986, n\u00eb sallat e Pallatit t\u00eb Kultur\u00ebs, Tiran\u00eb. Nuk b\u00ebhej fjal\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb ekspozuar pikturat e mia, por pun\u00ebn time si krijues kostumesh n\u00eb Kinostudio.
\nTashm\u00eb p\u00ebr mua kjo ekspozit\u00eb ishte nj\u00eb fat i madh.
\nK\u00ebto krijime t\u00eb realizuara me teknika t\u00eb ndryshme mbi let\u00ebr dhe karton paraqisnin personazhe t\u00eb njohura nga filmat m\u00eb t\u00eb arrir\u00eb t\u00eb kinematografis\u00eb shqiptare. Pik- tori dhe skenografi i njohur Shaban Hysa do t\u00eb shkru- ante n\u00eb gazet\u00ebn \u201cDrita\u201d: \u201cEkspozita shihet me endje, jo vetem p\u00ebr faktin q\u00eb punimet nuk jan\u00eb trajtuar thjesht si objekte por edhe si tablo. Por edhe se ekspozita nga ana tematike \u00ebsht\u00eb di\u00e7ka e re p\u00ebr publikun.\u201d
\nIshte kjo ekspozit\u00eb po ashtu q\u00eb u b\u00eb shkak q\u00eb p\u00ebr her\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb veprat e mia t\u00eb bliheshin nga Galeria Komb\u00ebtare e Arteve. Galeria Komb\u00ebtare e Arteve \u00e7udit\u00ebrisht \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe sot e mbushur me vepra t\u00eb realizmit socialist (shumica pa ndonj\u00eb vler\u00eb artistike q\u00eb ta justifikoj\u00eb ekspozimin).
\nP\u00ebr mua nd\u00ebr k\u00ebto vepra, duhet b\u00ebr\u00eb nj\u00eb zgjedhje dhe vet\u00ebm disa prej tyre duhet t\u00eb q\u00ebndrojn\u00eb t\u00eb ekspozuara, ato q\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn m\u00eb dometh\u00ebn\u00ebse
\nilustrojn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb periudh\u00eb. Kritika e k\u00ebtyre veprave duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebhet m\u00eb seriozisht duke u thelluar n\u00eb thelbin e modelit q\u00eb soll\u00ebn k\u00ebta krijues me artin e tyre dhe t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb koshient artdash\u00ebsit, q\u00eb jan\u00eb pik\u00ebrisht k\u00ebta
\nartist\u00eb q\u00eb nj\u00eb p\u00ebrmbajtjeje ideologjike t\u00eb deformuar nga pik\u00ebpamjet materialiste, pa t\u00eb ardhme, pa ideale shpirt\u00ebrore i dhan\u00eb nj\u00eb form\u00eb artistike, q\u00eb t\u00ebrhoq\u00ebn rreth tyre artist\u00ebt e rinj, q\u00eb i g\u00ebnjyen, i futen n\u00eb udh\u00eb pa
\nkrye, e bind\u00ebn breza t\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00eb duke i gremisur n\u00eb humner\u00ebn e nj\u00eb arti materialist, vulgar, me mjete t\u00eb kufizuara shpreh\u00ebse, drejt nj\u00eb vdekjeje artistike t\u00eb sigurt\u00eb.
\nNj\u00eb fat tjet\u00ebr n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb mund t\u00eb konsiderohej, p\u00ebr disa artist\u00eb, dyqani i shitjes s\u00eb veprave t\u00eb artit p\u00ebr turist\u00ebt e huaj. Turist\u00ebt nuk ishin t\u00eb shumt\u00eb n\u00eb
\nShqip\u00ebri, po ata pak q\u00eb vinin, mund t\u00eb blinin me \u00e7mime q\u00eb tejkalonin \u00e7do konkurenc\u00eb veprash t\u00eb zgjedhura nga nj\u00eb komision i posa\u00e7\u00ebm dhe m\u00eb indulgjent se ai i ekspozitave. M\u00eb ishin pranuar shum\u00eb peisazhe dhe kompozime n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb dyqan, por asnj\u00ebhere nuk m\u00eb thuhej kush i blinte.\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a0Nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb puna n\u00eb Kinostudio, si piktor kostumesh dhe filmi m\u00eb krijoi mund\u00ebsin\u00eb t\u00eb njoh Shqip\u00ebrin\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb se shum\u00eb nga bashk\u00ebkoh\u00ebsit e mi. Duke mos pasur mjete udh\u00ebtimi, shqiptar\u00ebt nuk e njihnin vendin
\ne tyre. Njohja e fshatrave t\u00eb humbur, maleve, bregdetit, kur k\u00ebrkonim vende p\u00ebr t\u00eb xhiruar filmat, q\u00ebndrimet nganj\u00ebher\u00eb t\u00eb gjata n\u00ebp\u00ebr k\u00ebto vende, m\u00eb b\u00ebn\u00eb t\u00eb kem mund\u00ebsin\u00eb t\u00eb realizoj mjaft peisazhe. M\u00eb p\u00eblqente kur i vet\u00ebm, n\u00eb vende shpeshher\u00eb krejt\u00ebsisht t\u00eb shkreta, n\u00ebn diellin p\u00ebrvelues, ndieja nj\u00eb egzaltim t\u00eb pashjeguesh\u00ebm dhe piktura, dielli, vendi ku ndodhesha, b\u00ebheshin burimi i nj\u00eb lumturie q\u00eb m\u00eb dehte e m\u00eb jepte shpres\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb ardhmen. Si mesdhetar ndieja zjarrin e klim\u00ebs ku kisha lindur. Q\u00eb student e kisha kuptuar q\u00eb n\u00eb piktur\u00eb nuk duhej t\u2019i l\u00ebshohesha pasionit, q\u00eb duke adhuruar Delacroix-in nuk duhej t\u00eb p\u00ebrjashtoja Ingres. \u201cDua emocionin e filtruar nga arsyeja,\u201d- shkruante Braque dhe kjo m\u00eb p\u00ebrshtatej.
\nN\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb periudh\u00eb i kushtoja nj\u00eb koh\u00eb t\u00eb madhe poezis\u00eb. Pata filluar q\u00eb n\u00eb Lice t\u00eb shkruaja poezi, shum\u00eb her\u00ebt t\u00eb p\u00ebrktheja po ashtu, por shkrimi i poezive n\u00eb vitet
\n\u201880 ishte nj\u00eb pun\u00eb pothuajse e p\u00ebrnatshme. Si pikturat edhe k\u00ebto poezi b\u00ebheshin p\u00ebr vete e p\u00ebr disa miq t\u00eb af\u00ebrt. S\u2019mund t\u00eb imagjinohej t\u00eb botoheshin. P\u00ebrmbajtja dhe forma e tyre nuk kishte asgj\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrbashk\u00ebt me poezit\u00eb e aprovueshme. Megjith\u00ebse n\u00eb to shprehesha n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet metaforash, mospajtimi me idet\u00eb dhe jet\u00ebn politike q\u00eb m\u00eb rrethonte ishin t\u00eb dukshme.
\nIshte b\u00ebr\u00eb e nevojeshme p\u00ebr mua t\u00eb mbaja sh\u00ebnim po ashtu idet\u00eb q\u00eb kisha mbi piktur\u00ebn e \u00e7do gj\u00eb q\u00eb kishte lidhje me t\u00eb, p\u00ebr t\u00eb p\u00ebrzgjedhur dhe \u201ckoleksionuar\u201d \u00e7ka m\u00eb dukej m\u00eb personale n\u00eb krijimet q\u00eb b\u00ebja. P\u00ebr t\u2019i zhveshur k\u00ebto krijime nga \u00e7do gj\u00eb e tep\u00ebrt, kisha nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebja analiza t\u00eb holl\u00ebsishme. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb u b\u00eb e mundur q\u00eb fraza t\u00eb t\u00ebra t\u00eb b\u00ebheshin nj\u00eb lloj
\nmanifesti, t\u00eb cilit duhej t\u2019i p\u00ebrmbahesha p\u00ebr t\u00eb v\u00ebn\u00eb m\u00eb n\u00eb pah personalitetin tim. Disa nga k\u00ebto fraza q\u00eb kam sh\u00ebnuar n\u00eb vitet \u201880, jan\u00eb akoma t\u00eb vlefshme edhe sot p\u00ebr mua, si: \u201c\u00cbsht\u00eb shpejt\u00ebsia e interpretimit, spontan- iteti, q\u00eb kan\u00eb p\u00ebr mua m\u00eb shum\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi,
\npo ashtu vendosm\u00ebria dhe ekzagjerimi i k\u00ebtij interpretimi\u201d ose \u201cN\u00eb piktur\u00eb duhet t\u00eb identifikosh ve\u00e7antit\u00eb e tua, t\u00eb gjesh \u00e7\u2019t\u00eb dallon nga t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt q\u00eb piktura jote (po ashtu si tiparet e tua t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb dalluesh\u00ebm mes miliona njerezve) t\u00eb jet\u00eb e identifikueshme mes miliona pikturave\u201d.
\nN\u00eb vitin 1985, vdekja e Enver Hoxh\u00ebs nuk ndryshoi asgj\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00ebn ton\u00eb. Q\u00eb t\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen, n\u00ebp\u00ebr nd\u00ebrmarrjet dhe institucionet e vendit u b\u00ebn\u00eb mbledhje t\u00eb detyruara, ku \u00e7donj\u00ebri prej nesh duhej t\u2019i premtonte besnik\u00ebri vij\u00ebs s\u00eb partis\u00eb, duke shprehur k\u00ebshtu lidhjen e tij t\u00eb p\u00ebrjetshme me m\u00ebsimet e udh\u00ebheq\u00ebsit q\u00eb vdiq dhe t\u00eb firmoste nj\u00eb pakt me t\u00eb. K\u00ebshtu ndodhi edhe n\u00eb kinostudio, aty ku punoja. N\u00eb mbledhjen e kolektivit duhej t\u00eb ishim me \u00e7do kusht. Duhej pas betimesh e st\u00ebrbetimesh nga an\u00ebtar\u00eb t\u00eb ndrysh\u00ebm t\u00eb partis\u00eb p\u00ebr besnik\u00ebri ndaj m\u00ebsimeve t\u00eb\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a0udh\u00ebheq\u00ebsit, q\u00eb t\u00eb kalonim p\u00ebrpara presidiumit dhe t\u00eb firmosnim mbi nj\u00eb regjist\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb pakt me partin\u00eb dhe Enverin. Presidiumi i Kinostudios p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb rast ishte tejet impozues, i pasuruar nga personalitete t\u00eb Komitetit Qendror dhe atij t\u00eb Partis\u00eb s\u00eb Tiran\u00ebs.
\nKalova p\u00ebrpara regjistrit pa firmosur e p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00eb thirr\u00ebn t\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen n\u00eb zyr\u00ebn e kuadrit, ku u shpjegova duke th\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb nuk arrita t\u00eb firmos, sepse pas meje, t\u00eb tjer\u00eb m\u00eb shtyn\u00eb nga padurimi p\u00ebr t\u00eb v\u00ebn\u00eb firm\u00ebn e tyre.
\nPak koh\u00eb m\u00eb pas m\u00eb thirr\u00ebn n\u00eb nj\u00eb nga zyrat e Komitetit Qendror t\u00eb Rinis\u00eb dhe aty me deklaruan q\u00eb m\u00eb kishin zgjedhur p\u00ebr t\u00eb dh\u00ebn\u00eb kontributin tim si piktor (s\u00eb bashku me koleg\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00eb) p\u00ebr dekorimin
\ne muzeut q\u00eb do t\u00eb b\u00ebhej p\u00ebr Enver Hoxh\u00ebn. U thash\u00eb se ndihesha krenar q\u00eb kishin menduar p\u00ebr mua, por q\u00eb kjo krenari nuk m\u00eb pengonte t\u00eb ndjeja se nuk isha i denj\u00eb dhe i aft\u00eb aq sa ta meritoja nj\u00eb nder t\u00eb till\u00eb.
\nNgul\u00ebn k\u00ebmb\u00eb duke m\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb nuk ishin ata q\u00eb kishin b\u00ebr\u00eb zgjedhjen time, por ishin koleg\u00ebt e mi artist\u00eb dhe ata s\u2019mund t\u00eb gaboheshin. U k\u00ebrkova nj\u00eb koh\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb reflektuar. Duke m\u00eb keshilluar q\u00eb t\u00eb nxitohesha p\u00ebr p\u00ebrgjigjen, ata shtuan q\u00eb artist\u00ebt e zgjedhur do t\u00eb kishin shp\u00ebrblime q\u00eb nuk neglizhoheshin: artist\u00ebt q\u00eb nuk kishin studio do t\u2019u jepej, secili do t\u00eb kishte leje afatgjat\u00eb krijuese, do t\u2019u rezervohej gjith\u00ebsecilit po ashtu materiale t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme pikture, si dhe do t\u00eb d\u00ebrgoheshin jasht\u00eb vendit p\u00ebr t\u00eb vizituar muze n\u00ebp\u00ebr Evrop\u00eb. Premtimet ishin tunduese, por p\u00ebrgjigjja ime mbeti mospranimi.
\n1987. Ktheheshim me nj\u00eb xhip t\u00eb kinostudios nga Kruja. Drejtori i Kinostudios, z. Viktor Gjika, q\u00eb ishte ulur para meje, kthen kok\u00ebn dhe m\u00eb pyet: \u201cBujar, ti flet frengjisht?\u201d. \u201dPo\u201d,- i p\u00ebrgjigjem. \u201cE ke dh\u00ebn\u00eb provimin e frengjishtes?\u201d. \u201cJo\u201d,- i thash\u00eb. \u201cHip sa m\u00eb shpejt\u201d, \u2013 m\u00eb tha ai.
\nT\u00eb gjith\u00eb e dinin se \u00e7far\u00eb n\u00ebnkuptonte nj\u00eb dialog i till\u00eb. Drejtori im mendonte t\u00eb m\u00eb d\u00ebrgonte jasht\u00eb shtetit. Kjo ishte gj\u00ebja m\u00eb e mrekullueshme, fati m\u00eb i madh p\u00ebr nj\u00eb shqiptar. Nj\u00eb muaj m\u00eb von\u00eb u paraqita n\u00eb provimin zyrtar p\u00ebr dh\u00ebnien e frengjishtes dhe e mora me not\u00ebn 8\/10. Viktor Gjika vuri kandidatur\u00ebn time p\u00ebr nj\u00eb stazh dy mujor n\u00eb Paris, p\u00ebr t\u00eb studjuar efektet speciale n\u00eb kinema dhe deri sa kjo u b\u00eb e mundur n\u00eb janar t\u00eb vitit 1989, e mb\u00ebshteti me gjith\u00eb forcat e tij, me gjith\u00eb
\nnd\u00ebrhyrjet e shumta (q\u00eb si\u00e7 ma pohoi vet\u00eb shum\u00eb vite m\u00eb von\u00eb n\u00eb Paris) pati nga ata q\u00eb kishin miq n\u00eb Kryeministri e n\u00eb Komitetin Qendror dhe donin t\u00eb m\u00eb zinin vendin.
\n1987. Llambi Blido m\u00eb dhuron nj\u00eb tekst t\u00eb pabotuesh\u00ebm ku shkruan mbi piktur\u00ebn time.
\nNd\u00ebr t\u00eb tjera ai n\u00ebnvizon: \u201cPiktura e Bujar Luc\u00ebs e ka pik\u00ebnisjen nga ngjyra. Ajo q\u00eb i b\u00ebnte p\u00ebrshtypje n\u00eb fillim ishte harmonia. Ajo q\u00eb i ben p\u00ebrshtypje tani \u00ebsht\u00eb pafund\u00ebsia. Pafund\u00ebsin\u00eb ai e ka gjetur tek gjesti, tek gjesti i mpreht\u00eb dhe i shpejt\u00eb si vet\u00ebtima, i furish\u00ebm si goditja e gongut, i papritur si klithma e hutinit n\u00eb nj\u00eb
\nnat\u00eb me h\u00ebn\u00eb.\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a0P\u00ebr t\u00eb, objekti edhe \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb. \u00c7ka p\u00ebrb\u00ebn siguri \u00ebsht\u00eb jehona q\u00eb shkakton objekti n\u00eb shpirtin e tij. Rezonanca e k\u00ebsaj jehone (shper) p\u00ebrhapet me goditje (te) ritmike n\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb sip\u00ebrfaqen, thell\u00eb n\u00eb struktur\u00ebn e tel\u00ebs s\u00eb tij. At\u00eb q\u00eb realiteti e ka nd\u00ebrtuar sipas ligjeve t\u00eb proz\u00ebs, artisti e rind\u00ebrton sipas ligjeve t\u00eb poezis\u00eb. V\u00ebsh- trimi i spektatorit i bindet vetvetiu k\u00ebtij ritmi poetik dhe n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet tij merr rrug\u00ebn drejt shp\u00ebrthimeve t\u00eb ngjyr\u00ebs, t\u00eb cilat dalin nga piktura e tij si shat\u00ebrvane duke p\u00ebrm- bytur gjith\u00e7ka, n\u00eb nj\u00eb harmoni t\u00eb lumtur, n\u00eb nj\u00eb lumturi
\nt\u00eb furishme. Risia e ides\u00eb artistike \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo q\u00eb e t\u00ebrheq Bujar Luc\u00ebn me rr\u00ebmbim nga nj\u00eb p\u00eblhur\u00eb n\u00eb tjetr\u00ebn\u201d.
\n1989. Fal\u00eb drejtorit t\u00eb Kinostudios, z. Viktor Gjika, dy muajt e par\u00eb t\u00eb vitit i kalova n\u00eb Paris duke b\u00ebr\u00eb nj\u00eb stazh p\u00ebr efektet speciale n\u00eb kinema, q\u00eb do t\u00eb kryhej kryesisht n\u00eb studiot e televizionit Francez (SFP). Aty
\nnjoha dekoratorin Jacques Brul\u00e9 dhe gruan e tij Josette, q\u00eb do t\u00eb b\u00ebheshin nj\u00eb mb\u00ebshtetje e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme p\u00ebr mua, kur n\u00eb gusht t\u00eb vitit 1990 do t\u00eb nisesha p\u00ebrs\u00ebri p\u00ebr n\u00eb Paris, kesaj here p\u00ebr t\u00eb mos u kthyer m\u00eb. Muzet\u00eb dhe galerit\u00eb pariziane m\u00eb trondit\u00ebn pa mas\u00eb. Nuk ishte nj\u00eb hendek q\u00eb na ndante. Ishte nj\u00eb gremin\u00eb.
\nMe \u00e7\u2019sakrifica mund t\u00eb mbushej kjo gremin\u00eb e llahtarshme?\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00ab\u00a0Kryetari i Lidhjes p\u00ebr Artet Figurative, z. Petro Kokushta, q\u00eb e kisha patur n\u00eb Institut edhe si profesor, piktor i talentuar dhe me kultur\u00eb, m\u00eb propozon t\u00eb b\u00ebj nj\u00eb ekspozit\u00eb personale n\u00eb Pallatin e Kultur\u00ebs. Por m\u00eb thot\u00eb se pun\u00ebt do t\u00eb zgjidheshin sidoqoft\u00eb nga nj\u00eb komision.
\nIshte tetor. Zgjedhja ime nuk ishte nj\u00eb rast\u00ebsi, nuk ishte nj\u00eb d\u00ebshir\u00eb e rastit p\u00ebr t\u2019m\u00eb ekspozuar, por nj\u00eb pasoj\u00eb e ngjarjeve q\u00eb po p\u00ebrgatisnin ndryshime t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme n\u00eb Evrop\u00ebn e Lindjes. R\u00ebnia e murit t\u00eb Berlinit, q\u00eb sh\u00ebnoi p\u00ebrfundimisht shembjen e sistemit komunist, do t\u00eb ndodhte dit\u00ebt e para t\u00eb n\u00ebntorit. Ishte nj\u00eb tentativ\u00eb nga ana e Lidhjes p\u00ebr Artet Figurative q\u00eb t\u00eb tregonte nj\u00eb lloj hapjeje, nj\u00eb shembull ku nj\u00eb lloj risie t\u00eb ishte
\ne dukshme. Si do t\u00eb pritej kjo risi? \u00c7do gj\u00eb mund t\u00eb ndodhte. Shqet\u00ebsimi im ishte m\u00ebse normal.
\nMegjithat\u00eb vendosa t\u00eb pranoj. Ashtu u b\u00eb, nj\u00eb komision i reduktuar zgjodhi rreth 40 tablo dhe ekspozita u hap. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb, kjo ekspozit\u00eb ishte e para q\u00eb sh\u00ebnonte fillimin e nj\u00eb tolerance t\u00eb matur n\u00eb artet figurative dhe pikturat e mia n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb ekspozit\u00eb nuk kishin asgj\u00eb nga temat q\u00eb zakonisht mbushnin sallat e ekspozitave. Por p\u00ebrkundrazi! Gjuha plastike, pik\u00ebv\u00ebshtrimi, ngjyrat, \u00e7do gj\u00eb ishte personale, e re p\u00ebr publikun dhe intime.
\nEkspozita pati sukses. N\u00eb inaugurimin e saj, pjes\u00ebmarrja i tejkaloi parashikimet e mia. Ishin t\u00eb pranish\u00ebm artist\u00ebt m\u00eb t\u00eb njohur. Aktor\u00eb, gazetar\u00eb, regjizor\u00eb, personalitete politike, shkrimtari i shquar Ismail Kadare me t\u00eb shoqen, miqt\u00eb e mi t\u00eb af\u00ebrt etj. Shumica e gazetave m\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme do t\u00eb shkruanin mbi ekspozit\u00ebn. Mund t\u00eb ve\u00e7ojm\u00eb artikullin e A. Kallulli n\u00eb gazet\u00ebn \u201cDrita\u201d, apo N. Lako te \u201cZ\u00ebri i Rinis\u00eb\u201d.
\nI intervistuar nga gazetari Virgjil Mu\u00e7i, un\u00eb do t\u00eb theksoja: \u201cKam d\u00ebshiruar q\u00eb e reja n\u00eb pun\u00ebn time t\u00eb kishte t\u00eb b\u00ebnte, para s\u00eb gjithash, me ndjeshm\u00ebrin\u00eb, me emocionin q\u00eb m\u00eb ngjall jeta p\u00ebrreth. \u00c7do artist duhet t\u00eb komunikoj\u00eb me gjuh\u00ebn e koh\u00ebs s\u00eb tij, t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb p\u00ebrpjekje, t\u00eb transformoj\u00eb subjektin e jasht\u00ebm me nj\u00eb motiv personal: jo ta imitoj\u00eb\u201d.
\nPor nj\u00eb artikull n\u00eb gazet\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme t\u00eb asaj kohe, \u201cZ\u00ebri i Popullit\u201d, kritikonte ekspozit\u00ebn p\u00ebr \u201cinfluenca t\u00eb huaja\u201d n\u00eb piktur\u00ebn time. Duhej b\u00ebr\u00eb akoma m\u00eb shum\u00eb kujdes p\u00ebr t\u00eb mos p\u00ebrfunduar i d\u00ebnuar.
\nPik\u00ebrisht kjo ekspozit\u00eb do t\u00eb realizonte \u00ebndrr\u00ebn time t\u00eb largimit nga ky regjim, sepse aty njoha Daniel Hauet-Mercier, francez, i pasionuar pas piktur\u00ebs, i cili
\nm\u00eb ftoi disa muaj m\u00eb von\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb ekspozoja n\u00eb Franc\u00eb.
\nNj\u00eb ngjarje tjet\u00ebr do t\u00eb ndodhte p\u00ebrpara largimit tim nga vendlindja, q\u00eb do t\u00eb kishte r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn time t\u00eb ardhshme n\u00eb Paris.
\nFund prilli. Fillim maji i vitit 1990. P\u00ebr her\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb vinin n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri, pas 45 vjet\u00ebsh, nga Franca,
\npersonalitete t\u00eb kultur\u00ebs nga Muzeu i Luvrit, gazetar\u00eb dhe fotograf\u00eb t\u00eb revist\u00ebs kulturore \u201cConnaissance\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a0des Arts\u201d, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt do t\u00eb mbanin nj\u00eb seri konferencash mbi artin dhe do t\u00eb shkruanin reportazhin e par\u00eb mbi trash\u00ebgimin\u00eb kulturore n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri, si dhe mbi artet plastike. Rast\u00ebsisht, duke u ndodhur n\u00eb Galerin\u00eb Komb\u00ebtare t\u00eb Arteve, drejtori i galeris\u00eb, meq\u00ebn\u00ebse flisja frengjisht e n\u00ebse do ishte e mundur, m\u00eb k\u00ebrkoi t\u00eb shoqeroja z. Jean Pierre Cuzin, asokohe shef i Departa- mentit t\u00eb Pikturave n\u00eb Luv\u00ebr, n\u00eb vizit\u00ebn e tij n\u00eb galeri. S\u00eb bashku p\u00ebrshkuam sallat e galeris\u00eb. Para syve t\u00eb z. Cuzin kalonin me shpejt\u00ebsi dhjetra piktura t\u00eb realizmit socialist. Nganj\u00ebher\u00eb ndalonte p\u00ebrpara ndonj\u00eb pikture duke m\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb \u201c\u00c7far\u00eb talenti! Mjerisht i p\u00ebrdorur keq\u201d.
\nDuke zbritur shkall\u00ebt, ai ndalon. N\u00eb t\u00eb djatht\u00eb t\u00eb tij, nj\u00eb piktur\u00eb gjigande i t\u00ebrheq v\u00ebmendjen. M\u00eb pyet: \u201c\u00c7\u2019\u00ebsht\u00eb kjo?\u201d \u201cPiktur\u00eb\u201d \u2013 i them me nj\u00eb buz\u00ebqeshje t\u00eb p\u00ebrmbajtur. N\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb b\u00ebhet fjal\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb tablo q\u00eb paraqiste nj\u00eb pun\u00ebtor n\u00eb maj\u00ebn e nj\u00eb kulle hekuri, plot krenari, syt\u00eb drejt s\u00eb ardhmes e q\u00eb p\u00ebrballonte heroikisht nj\u00eb er\u00eb q\u00eb frynte furish\u00ebm nga t\u00eb gjitha an\u00ebt. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb tablo ishte paraqitur simboli i njeriut t\u00eb ri t\u00eb socializmit. \u201cE kan\u00eb detyruar autorin ta pikturoj\u00eb?\u201d- m\u00eb pyet z. Cuzin. \u201cAh, jo jo\u201d, \u2013 i them, por ai nuk duket ta besoj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjjen time.
\nMe z\u00eb t\u00eb ul\u00ebt m\u00eb thot\u00eb: \u201cJam i sigurt se edhe nj\u00eb hap m\u00eb tep\u00ebr dhe ky kollos do t\u00eb gremiset p\u00ebrgjithmon\u00eb\u201d. Ishte nj\u00eb parath\u00ebnie. N\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, disa muaj m\u00eb von\u00eb era fryu kaq fort, sa hodhi p\u00ebrtok\u00eb jo vet\u00ebm heronjt\u00eb e pikturave, por edhe frym\u00ebzuesit e tyre t\u00eb pavdeksh\u00ebm. Po ato dit\u00eb, disa artist\u00eb ishin ftuar nga Lidhja e Arteve Figurative n\u00eb nj\u00eb takim me grupin e gazetar\u00ebve dhe kritik\u00ebve francez\u00eb n\u00eb selin\u00eb e Ambasad\u00ebs Franceze. Me nj\u00eb nd\u00ebr artist\u00ebt e rinj, Edi Ram\u00ebn, gjat\u00eb k\u00ebtij kokteji njoh\u00ebm kritikun e artit, Denis Picard. Duke biseduar me t\u00eb, i b\u00ebm\u00eb t\u00eb njohur disa nga veshtir\u00ebsit\u00eb tona krijuese.
\nI intriguar nga biseda me ne, ai na pyeti n\u00ebse mund t\u00eb vinte t\u00eb shikonte pun\u00ebt tona dhe ne i tham\u00eb q\u00eb kjo nuk ishte e mundur pa lejen e Kryetarit t\u00eb Lidhjes, z. Petro Kokushta, q\u00eb ishte i pranish\u00ebm. Picard k\u00ebrkoi ta prezantonim me kryetarin dhe i k\u00ebrkoi leje q\u00eb t\u00eb
\nvizitonte studion time dhe at\u00eb t\u00eb Edit. I z\u00ebn\u00eb ngusht\u00eb, kryetari pranoi q\u00eb ky takim t\u00eb b\u00ebhej. Takimi u la p\u00ebr t\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb time, ku p\u00ebrve\u00e7 Edi Ram\u00ebs do t\u00eb sillte punimet e tij edhe Edi Hila. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb u b\u00eb e mundur q\u00eb ne t\u00eb figuronim s\u00eb bashku n\u00eb faqet e k\u00ebsaj reviste prestigjoze t\u00eb artit, n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet fotove t\u00eb realizuara n\u00eb kopshtin dhe sht\u00ebpin\u00eb time nga fotografi i njohur Arnaud Carpentier, q\u00eb do t\u00eb b\u00ebhej m\u00eb von\u00eb n\u00eb Paris miku im m\u00eb i af\u00ebrt e m\u00eb i dashur. S\u00eb bashku me prind\u00ebrit e tij dhe gruan, Arnaud Carpentier do t\u00eb b\u00ebhej nj\u00eb mb\u00ebshtetje e jasht\u00ebzakoneshme, si n\u00eb tentativat p\u00ebr t\u00eb marr\u00eb kart\u00ebn e q\u00ebndrimit n\u00eb Franc\u00eb, ashtu edhe n\u00eb ndihm\u00ebn p\u00ebr t\u00eb dep\u00ebrtuar n\u00eb mjedisin artistik.
\nFtesa p\u00ebr t\u00eb ekspozuar n\u00eb Paris arriti n\u00eb fillim t\u00eb gushtit. Si rrjedhoj\u00eb e ngjarjeve t\u00eb zhvilluara n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb, Ambasada Franceze ishte e mbyllur dhe ishte e pamundur q\u00eb t\u00eb merrje viz\u00ebn. P\u00ebr fat, duke\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a0biseduar me mikun tim, Luan Rama, p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb ftes\u00eb dhe pamund\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb kontaktuar ambasad\u00ebn, Luani (i cili n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb nuk punonte m\u00eb n\u00eb Kinostudio, por n\u00eb Ministrin\u00eb e Jashtme) m\u00eb thot\u00eb se mund t\u00eb merrnim n\u00eb telefon ambasad\u00ebn nga sht\u00ebpia e tij dhe t\u00eb flisnim p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb problem. Ndoshta gjendej nj\u00eb zgjidhje. Kur telefoni ra n\u00eb ambasad\u00eb, Luani ma kaloi mua. Nga ambasada d\u00ebgjova t\u00eb prezantohej personin q\u00eb u pergjigj. U prezantova edhe un\u00eb. Dhe p\u00ebr \u00e7udin\u00eb time d\u00ebgjoj francezin t\u2019m\u00eb thot\u00eb: \u201cSi \u00ebsht\u00eb e mundur q\u00eb kam
\nz. Bujar Luca n\u00eb telefon? Kam kaq vjet q\u00eb k\u00ebrkoj t\u00eb njihem me ju dhe nuk ia arrij q\u00ebllimit. Jam un\u00eb q\u00eb kam bler\u00eb pikturat tuaja n\u00eb dyqanin p\u00ebr turist\u00eb. Kam nj\u00eb koleksion tashm\u00eb. Duhet patjet\u00ebr t\u00eb shihemi\u201d.
\nI shpjegova arsyen e telefonat\u00ebs. M\u00eb tha q\u00eb do t\u00eb b\u00ebnte \u00e7\u2019ishte e mundur q\u00eb t\u00eb kisha viz\u00ebn. Lam\u00eb takim pas disa dit\u00ebsh tek dyqani i shitjes s\u00eb pikturave. Sapo u takuam pas disa dit\u00ebsh tek dyqani i pikturave, z. Emmanuel Rousseau m\u00eb mori p\u00ebr krahu dhe pasi m\u00eb drejtoi drejt vetratave q\u00eb shihnin jasht\u00eb m\u00eb tha: \u201cPas makin\u00ebs sime \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo e sigurimit. M\u00eb ndjekin kudo q\u00eb shkoj. Jam p\u00ebr ta armiku num\u00ebr nj\u00eb i regjimit\u201d. I tregova ftes\u00ebn q\u00eb kisha p\u00ebr ekspozit\u00ebn. M\u00eb tha q\u00eb do t\u00eb b\u00ebnte \u00e7\u2019ishte e mundur dhe se pas nj\u00eb jave do t\u2019m\u00eb kthente p\u00ebrgjigje.
\n\u201cN\u00ebse do, mund t\u00eb ndihmoj t\u00eb nxjerr\u00ebsh jasht\u00eb ven- dit \u00e7ka s\u2019mund t\u00eb marr\u00ebsh n\u00eb avion\u201d,- shtoi. K\u00ebshtu munda t\u00eb nxjerr, nd\u00ebr t\u00eb tjera v\u00ebllimet me poezi. U
\ntakuam p\u00ebrs\u00ebri pas nj\u00eb jave dhe p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb situat\u00ebs s\u00eb jasht\u00ebzakonshme q\u00eb jetonte ambasada, ai m\u00eb shpjegoi q\u00eb s\u2019mund t\u00eb kisha viz\u00eb, por kur t\u00eb paraqitesha n\u00eb aero- port n\u00eb Paris, autoritetet e aeroportit ishin njoftuar nga Ministria e Jashtme franceze t\u00eb m\u00eb lejonin t\u00eb hyja n\u00eb territorin francez. Dit\u00ebn e nisjes, Emmanuel m\u00eb tha se do t\u00eb ishte n\u00eb aeroportin e Rinasit q\u00eb t\u00eb mos nxirrnin ndonj\u00eb problem. Stresi ishte i madh. Biletat sigurisht
\ni bleva vajtje-ardhje p\u00ebr t\u00eb mos ngjallur dyshime dhe m\u00eb kushtuan 180.000 lek\u00eb: p\u00ebr mua dhe gruan. Pra 30 muaj t\u00eb rrog\u00ebs sime prej intelektuali.
\nDo t\u00eb mund ta merrja k\u00ebt\u00eb avion? Do t\u2019m\u00eb lejonin t\u00eb hyja n\u00eb aeroportin \u201cCharles de Gaulle\u201d? Pikturat p\u00ebr ekspozit\u00ebn ishin paketuar dhe nuk do hapeshin p\u00ebr t\u2019u par\u00eb n\u00eb aeroportin e Rinasit, se kjo gj\u00eb ishte b\u00ebr\u00eb tashm\u00eb nga nj\u00eb n\u00ebpun\u00ebs i dogan\u00ebs n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb time.
\n23 gusht 1990, e enjte. Kur arrita n\u00eb aeroportin e Rinasit, z. Emmanuel Rouseau po m\u00eb priste dhe ndenji deri sa avioni u ngrit. N\u00eb aeroportin \u201cCharle de Gaulle\u201d \u00e7do gj\u00eb shkoi si\u00e7 ishte parashikuar. M\u00eb n\u00eb fund, p\u00ebrs\u00ebri n\u00eb Paris. K\u00ebsaj radhe ndoshta p\u00ebrgjithmon\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1990
\nMuza ime e censuruar, dikur e mbyllur n\u00eb dollapin e ky\u00e7ur, tani mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrfitonte, t\u00eb sh\u00ebtiste n\u00eb \u201cJardin du Luxembourg\u201d, n\u00eb \u201cChamps Elis\u00e9\u201d, t\u00eb vizitonte muze dhe galeri, t\u00eb lexonte libra t\u00eb ndaluar e t\u00eb\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a0d\u00ebgjonte muzik\u00eb n\u00eb \u201cSaint Germain\u201d, nj\u00eb mesh\u00eb n\u00eb \u201cSaint Etienne du Mont ou Saint Sulpice\u201d.
\nN\u00eb shtator u publikua revista \u201cConnaissance des Arts\u201d, ku pasqyrohej artikulli mbi trash\u00ebgimin\u00eb e artit dhe piktur\u00ebn n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri. Nj\u00eb foto dyfaq\u00ebshe m\u00eb tregonte mes pikturave t\u00eb mia n\u00eb atelierin tim n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb. Nd\u00ebr t\u00eb tjera, n\u00eb artikull theksohej tendenca individualiste ndaj asaj kolektiviste n\u00eb veprat e autor\u00ebve t\u00eb rinj si Edi Rama, Bujar Luca dhe Edi Hila.
\nN\u00eb tetor u hap ekspozita n\u00eb Buxy, Chalon sur Saone, p\u00ebr t\u00eb cil\u00ebn isha ftuar nga Daniel Hauet-Mercier. N\u00eb gazet\u00ebn \u201cLe Journal de Saone-et-Loire\u201d do theksohej si ekspozita e par\u00eb e nj\u00eb piktori t\u00eb ri, i ardhur nga Shqip\u00ebria, nga m\u00eb p\u00ebrfaq\u00ebsuesit n\u00eb artin bashk\u00ebkohor shqiptar. U shit\u00ebn shum\u00eb piktura. Kjo ishte mjaft inkurajuese p\u00ebr fillimet
\ne mia. Vet\u00eb prefekti i Chalon-sur-Saone do t\u00eb blinte nj\u00eb piktur\u00eb, me an\u00eb t\u00eb s\u00eb cil\u00ebs do t\u00eb realizohej nj\u00eb tapiceri n\u00eb atelierin Tisca, p\u00ebr t\u2019u vendosur m\u00eb pas n\u00eb prefektur\u00eb.
\nN\u00eb shkurt t\u00eb vitit 1991, do t\u00eb hapja ekspozit\u00eb n\u00eb Paris. Ishte e para p\u00ebr mua, por edhe e para ekspozit\u00eb personale p\u00ebr nj\u00eb artist shqiptar.
\nN\u00eb revist\u00ebn \u201cConnaissance des Arts\u201d, n\u00ebn titullin \u201cTirana-Paris\u201d, do t\u00eb shkruhej nd\u00ebr t\u00eb tjera: \u201cBujar Luca na b\u00ebn t\u00eb shohim peisazhe, lule, nudo q\u00eb s\u2019kan\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb aspak, pa pik\u00eb dyshimi, me t\u00eb ndjerin realiz\u00ebm-socialist\u201d. Mund t\u00eb krenohesha t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn p\u00ebr nj\u00eb gj\u00eb: p\u00ebrpjekjet e mia p\u00ebr t\u00eb krijuar n\u00eb izolimin dhe vetmin\u00eb e atelierit tim n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb nj\u00eb lloj arti q\u00eb t\u00eb mos kishte t\u00eb b\u00ebnte me realizmin socialist, kishin marr\u00eb udh\u00eb dhe kjo ekspozit\u00eb ishte kontributi im p\u00ebr t\u00eb d\u00ebshmuar k\u00ebt\u00eb p\u00ebrpjekje, e cila ishte b\u00ebr\u00eb n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri edhe nga artist\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00eb duke rrezikuar d\u00ebnime mizore.
\nMaks Velo, artist i d\u00ebnuar nga regjimi, do ta p\u00ebrkthente k\u00ebt\u00eb artikull dhe do ta botonte pak m\u00eb von\u00eb n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb. Duke marr\u00eb shkas nga ky tekst, duke m\u00eb uruar, ai shprehte nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht d\u00ebshir\u00ebn q\u00eb arti shqiptar duhej t\u00eb rinovohej e t\u00eb ndryshonte rr\u00ebnj\u00ebsisht, q\u00eb nj\u00eb dit\u00eb t\u00eb mund t\u00eb paraqitej me dinjitet n\u00eb Evrop\u00eb.
\nN\u00eb vazhdim, k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi e justifikuar ishte p\u00ebr mua botimi i librit me poezi t\u00eb shkruara n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri n\u00eb vitet \u201880, n\u00ebn titullin \u201cOniromancie\u201d, nga sht\u00ebpia botuese \u201cl\u2019Aube\u201d. Kopertina (recto) ishte ilustruar nga nj\u00eb vizatim i imi me karbon dhe kopertina e kat\u00ebrt, ajo (verso) me nj\u00eb foto timen dhe nj\u00eb tekst t\u00eb shkurt\u00ebr. Kurr\u00eb nuk e kisha imagjinuar t\u00eb botohesha n\u00eb Franc\u00eb. P\u00ebr p\u00ebrkthimin
\ne teksteve u ndihmova nga poeti francez Jean-Luc Moreau, i cili nuk dinte asnj\u00eb fjal\u00eb shqip, por p\u00ebr fjal\u00ebt frengjisht q\u00eb kisha dyshime n\u00eb p\u00ebrkthim, duke diskutuar me t\u00eb e duke i shprehur se \u00e7far\u00eb doja t\u00eb thoja, ai me ndihmonte me intuit\u00ebn prej poeti q\u00eb t\u00eb gjeja fjal\u00ebn q\u00eb duhej dhe q\u00eb i p\u00ebrshtatej asaj q\u00eb kisha shkruar n\u00eb shqip.
\nPascale Nobecourt, gazetare n\u00eb revist\u00ebn \u201cTrouvailles\u201d, do t\u00eb shkruante n\u00eb prill t\u00eb vitit 1992, n\u00ebn titullin \u201cBujar Luca\u201d: \u201cEkzistojn\u00eb dy lloj individ\u00ebsh, ata q\u00eb jan\u00eb gati t\u00eb mb\u00ebshtesin nj\u00eb regjim, i cili u lajkaton interesat dhe ata q\u00eb jan\u00eb gati t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb gjith\u00e7ka p\u00ebr t\u2019i q\u00ebndruar besnik vetes s\u00eb tyre kund\u00ebr nj\u00eb regjimi q\u00eb papushim punon p\u00ebr t\u2019i n\u00ebnshtruar. Pik\u00ebrisht fal\u00eb tyre ec\u00ebn bota, fal\u00eb tyre p\u00ebrmbysen ideologjit\u00eb e kthyera n\u00eb tirani.
\nBujar Luca punon n\u00eb Paris, ku ka ardhur me past\u00ebrtin\u00eb, emocionin dhe k\u00ebrkes\u00ebn q\u00eb p\u00ebrb\u00ebjn\u00eb forc\u00ebn e asaj q\u00eb ai e quan \u201cDon Kishotizmi\u201d i artist\u00ebve t\u00eb Lindjes. Sht\u00ebpia botuese \u201cL\u2019Aube\u201d ka botuar poemat e tij. Fjal\u00ebt e tij dep\u00ebrtojn\u00eb drejt e n\u00eb zem\u00ebr. K\u00ebto fjal\u00eb q\u00eb n\u00eb ftoht\u00ebsin\u00eb e nj\u00eb universi ku njeriu \u00ebsht\u00eb kthyer n\u00eb gur, flasin p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb \u201cngroht\u00ebsi t\u00eb pak\u00ebt\u201d, nj\u00ebher\u00ebsh kaq t\u00eb fort\u00eb e kaq t\u00eb brisht\u00eb sa \u00e7\u2019\u00ebsht\u00eb edhe d\u00ebshira p\u00ebr t\u00eb jetuar\u201d.
\nPo k\u00ebt\u00eb vit do t\u00eb mbaja nga kulla \u201cEiffel\u201d nj\u00eb intervist\u00eb n\u00eb televizionin francez (France 3, i intervistuar nga Alex Taylor) ku do t\u00eb theksoja q\u00eb Shqip\u00ebria, t\u00eb cil\u00ebn
\ne p\u00ebrfaq\u00ebsoja n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb ekspozit\u00eb, trokiste tashm\u00eb n\u00eb port\u00ebn e Evrop\u00ebs duke shpresuar q\u00eb m\u00eb n\u00eb fund t\u00eb b\u00ebhej pjes\u00eb e saj.
\nPor me gjith\u00eb k\u00ebto suksese, kontakti me bot\u00ebn e artit q\u00eb m\u00eb rrethonte, shpejt m\u00eb b\u00ebri t\u00eb kuptoj q\u00eb krijimet e mia kishin humbur shum\u00eb takime me artin bashk\u00ebkohor dhe q\u00eb ky boshll\u00ebk q\u00eb ndieja duhej mbushur e duheshin b\u00ebr\u00eb p\u00ebrpjekje q\u00eb t\u00eb arrija t\u00eb asimiloja k\u00ebto koncepte
\ne t\u00eb arrija t\u2019i p\u00ebrshtasja n\u00eb at\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb ato t\u00eb sillnin krijimtarin\u00eb time n\u00eb nivelin e koh\u00ebs.
\nP\u00ebrpiqesha \u00e7do dit\u00eb, n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet vizitave t\u00eb shumta n\u00ebp\u00ebr galeri e muze, t\u00eb penetroja e t\u00eb kuptoja \u00e7ka nuk kisha mundur t\u00eb zbuloja n\u00eb veprat e artit p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb munges\u00ebs s\u00eb kontaktit drejtp\u00ebrdrejt\u00eb me to. Distanca fizike, mungesa e pranis\u00eb s\u00eb tyre m\u00eb kishte b\u00ebr\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb kaluar\u00ebn q\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebzhgoja intensivisht riprodhimet q\u00eb m\u00eb binin n\u00eb dor\u00eb, p\u00ebr t\u00eb zbuluar n\u00eb to v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsit\u00eb teknike t\u00eb realizimit. Tashm\u00eb q\u00eb veprat i kisha pran\u00eb e mund t\u2019i v\u00ebzhgoja sa t\u00eb doja, konstatoja q\u00eb frika se mos gaboja m\u00eb kishte penguar n\u00eb t\u00eb kaluar\u00ebn q\u00eb t\u00eb zgjidhja udh\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb shkurt\u00ebr.
\nNdryshimet u b\u00ebn\u00eb gradualisht. Nuk braktisen me leht\u00ebsi bindjet dhe teknikat q\u00eb ke fituar me koh\u00eb. D\u00ebshiroja t\u00eb b\u00ebhej e mundur q\u00eb piktura ime t\u00eb mos pengohej nga nd\u00ebrgjegjja dhe veprat, dhe se autor\u00ebt q\u00eb kisha admiruar i doja akoma. Dal\u00ebngadal\u00eb p\u00ebrshtata edhe mjetet q\u00eb do m\u00eb lejonin t\u00eb realizoja piktur\u00ebn q\u00eb shpresoja. Duke dashur t\u00eb shprehem me levizje sa m\u00eb t\u00eb vrullshme dhe t\u00eb lirshme, fillova t\u00eb punoj me p\u00eblhura t\u00eb mb\u00ebrthyera n\u00eb dysheme, duke ecur mbi to e duke pikturuar me penela t\u00eb gjat\u00eb, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt m\u00eb lejonin t\u00eb pikturoja pa u p\u00ebrkulur dhe m\u00eb jepnin mund\u00ebsi levizjesh q\u00eb vertikaliteti i piktur\u00ebs s\u00eb kavaletit nuk t\u2019i lejon. Filli im p\u00ebr\u00e7ues po b\u00ebhej p\u00ebrher\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb improvizimi dhe spontaniteti. P\u00ebrp\u00eblitjet zgjat\u00ebn shum\u00eb. Dyshimi sfilit\u00ebs q\u00eb i shoq\u00ebronte, po ashtu.
\nKujtesa e lidhur me jet\u00ebn time n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri, rivinte nat\u00ebn n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet \u00ebndrrave duke m\u00eb tronditur e m\u00eb ringjallur n\u00eb shpirt ngjarje dhe emocione q\u00eb mendoja se nuk do t\u2019i ndjeja m\u00eb kurr\u00eb, duke menduar se kishin vdekur bashk\u00eb me t\u00eb shkuar\u00ebn, pa dyshuar nj\u00eb \u00e7ast q\u00eb mund t\u00eb projektoheshin s\u00ebrish n\u00eb jet\u00ebn time. N\u00eb \u00ebnd\u00ebrr konstatoja se isha kthyer n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri. Nj\u00eb ankth i madh m\u00eb kapte dhe i bertisja vetes: \u201cP\u00ebrse je kthyer?\u201d Kur zgjohesha konstatoja se isha n\u00eb Franc\u00eb. At\u00ebher\u00eb nj\u00eb g\u00ebzim i pap\u00ebrshkruar m\u00eb b\u00ebnte gati t\u00eb qaja: t\u00eb ndihesh i lumtur q\u00eb ke l\u00ebn\u00eb vendin t\u00ebnd ku nuk do t\u00eb kthehesh m\u00eb. Isha i vet\u00ebdijsh\u00ebm: diktatura q\u00eb kisha p\u00ebsuar vepronte akoma n\u00eb nd\u00ebrgjegjen time. K\u00ebto makthe, kujtime, do ta ushqenin piktur\u00ebn time t\u00eb re. Eksperimente pa rezultatin e shpresuar pasoheshin nga periudha dekurajuese. Miqt\u00eb e mi q\u00eb kishin njohur nj\u00eb piktur\u00eb tjet\u00ebr timen, tek zbulonin t\u00eb ren\u00eb, i shihja t\u00eb \u00e7oroditur. N\u00eb pikturat e reja, realiteti nuk dukej m\u00eb. Piktura nuk kishte m\u00eb thell\u00ebsi dhe \u00e7do gj\u00eb i qe besuar linj\u00ebs. Nuk doja t\u00eb paraqisja di\u00e7ka nga realiteti duksh\u00ebm, di\u00e7ka t\u00eb identifikueshme. Doja t\u00eb b\u00ebhej i mundur pikturimi p\u00ebr bot\u00ebn e padukeshme t\u00eb realiteteve q\u00eb jetojn\u00eb n\u00eb brend\u00ebsi t\u00eb vetes.
\nMisioni im ishte krijimi i nj\u00eb vizioni t\u00eb ri. Duke e ditur q\u00eb nj\u00eb pjes\u00eb e tablos\u00eb q\u00eb do t\u00eb realizoja, n\u00eb menyr\u00eb t\u00eb pandjeshme, m\u00eb ishte imponuar tashm\u00eb nga piktor\u00ebt q\u00eb admiroja. P\u00ebr t\u2019ju larguar sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb k\u00ebsaj influence, i jepesha automatizmit, hapit pa t\u00eb nes\u00ebrme, duke l\u00ebn\u00eb penelin t\u00eb vepronte buz\u00eb gremin\u00ebs, pran\u00eb t\u00eb panjohur\u00ebs dhe zbraz\u00ebtis\u00eb. E shihja veten si nj\u00eb ekuilibrist. Preferoja momentin kur shket k\u00ebmba dhe je n\u00eb rrezik, kur p\u00ebrpjekja p\u00ebr t\u00eb rifituar ekuilibrin t\u00eb b\u00ebn t\u00eb l\u00ebviz\u00ebsh instiktivisht e nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb arsyeja q\u00eb t\u00eb udh\u00ebheq. Doja t\u00eb pikturoja si\u00e7 marrim frym\u00eb. Peneli duhej t\u00eb l\u00ebvizte si era, ose si dallga e detit dhe gjith\u00e7ka duhej t\u2019i besohej l\u00ebvizjeve t\u00eb paparashikuara.
\nT\u00eb krijosh nj\u00eb imazh nga hi\u00e7i: kjo nuk b\u00ebhet falas. K\u00ebrkon shum\u00eb besim tek vetja. Sapo ekzekutoja gjestin fillestar, ndieja q\u00eb gjestet q\u00eb pasonin, e dinin p\u00ebrpara meje nga do t\u00eb shkonin. Mjaftonte t\u00eb besoja.
\nAkti, pra ai i fillimit dhe vazhdimit t\u00eb piktur\u00ebs m\u00eb k\u00ebrkonte nj\u00eb guxim t\u00eb till\u00eb, i cili t\u00eb mund t\u00eb matej e t\u00eb triumfonte mbi ngurrimin q\u00eb p\u00ebrballonte. P\u00ebrpara
\ntablos\u00eb s\u00eb virgj\u00ebr kemi gjithmon\u00eb frik\u00eb. N\u00eb \u00e7astet e para kur peneli im q\u00ebndron pezull pa ditur ku t\u00eb filloj\u00eb e nga t\u00eb shkoj\u00eb, ai p\u00ebrngjason me nj\u00eb notar q\u00eb hidhet nga nj\u00eb lart\u00ebsi marramend\u00ebse. Duhet nje moment \u201c\u00e7mendurie\u201d p\u00ebr t\u2019u shk\u00ebputur e p\u00ebr t\u2019u hedhur n\u00eb zbraz\u00ebti. Duhet t\u00eb mbyll\u00ebsh syt\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u hedhur. Duhet mposhtur hezitimi, frika. N\u00eb filmin e \u00c7arli \u00c7aplinit, \u201cKoh\u00ebt moderne\u201d, ka nj\u00eb sken\u00eb ku \u00c7aplini rr\u00ebshqet mbi patina duke ekzekutuar me syt\u00eb mbyllur nj\u00eb koreografi t\u00eb mrekullueshme. Por kur i thon\u00eb q\u00eb t\u2019i hap\u00eb syt\u00eb se \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb rrezik dhe ai i hap duke e konstatuar v\u00ebrtet rrezikun, q\u00eb nga ai \u00e7ast ai s\u2019mund t\u00eb k\u00ebrcej\u00eb m\u00eb. P\u00ebrse?
\nSepse ka frik\u00eb. Pik\u00ebrisht ky \u00ebsht\u00eb ndryshimi midis piktur\u00ebs s\u00eb nd\u00ebrgjegjshme e asaj t\u00eb pand\u00ebrgjegjshme. Dhe mua e pand\u00ebrgjegjshmja \u201cm\u00eb mbyll syt\u00eb\u201d duke mos m\u00eb lejuar t\u00eb shoh \u201cnd\u00ebrgjegjjen e boshll\u00ebkut\u201d.
\nTe realizimet si n\u00eb serin\u00eb \u201cKodeks 333\u201d, veprat m\u00eb t\u00eb af\u00ebrta n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb retrospektiv\u00eb, teknika q\u00eb p\u00ebrdor, m\u00eb pengon ta p\u00ebrfytyroj vepr\u00ebn t\u00eb mbaruar, ashtu si\u00e7 do ta shoh\u00eb shikuesi n\u00eb fund t\u00eb proceseve realizuese. Kur p\u00ebrfundohet, mbi t\u00eb nuk ka m\u00eb mund\u00ebsi t\u00eb nd\u00ebrhyhet p\u00ebr t\u00eb korigjuar apo hequr \u00e7far\u00ebdo qoft\u00eb. \u00cbsht\u00eb nj\u00eb teknik\u00eb q\u00eb nuk m\u00eb lejon pendesa. \u00c7do hap n\u00eb rrug\u00ebn p\u00ebr ta realizuar, ashtu si edhe rezultati final, jan\u00eb plot t\u00eb papritura p\u00ebr mua q\u00eb i zbuloj shpesh i befasuar. Nuk shkoj nga pika A n\u00eb pik\u00ebn B. Pika B nuk m\u00eb intereson. Kur dal sh\u00ebtitje nuk dua ta di destinacionin dhe kur e di q\u00eb gjat\u00eb k\u00ebsaj sh\u00ebtitje duhet t\u00eb kryej, p\u00ebr shembull blerjen e buk\u00ebs, kjo gj\u00eb ma prish gjith\u00eb k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsin\u00eb e sh\u00ebtitjes. Kur shkoj t\u00eb b\u00ebj piktur\u00eb nuk kthehem nga dyqani i buk\u00ebs. Nisem nga periferia e vetvetes dhe arrij uniken drejt qendr\u00ebs sime nga shum\u00ebzimi i veprave.
\nPikturoj po aq natyrsh\u00ebm sa shkruaj dhe anasjelltas. N\u00eb kompozimet e mia p\u00ebrdor g\u00ebrma t\u00eb reja, t\u00eb improvizuara, t\u00eb panjohura prej meje dhe shikuesve, t\u00eb padep\u00ebrtueshme.
\nN\u00eb origjin\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebtij shkrimi t\u00eb palexuesh\u00ebm q\u00eb praktikoj q\u00ebndron t\u00ebrheqja, t\u00eb cil\u00ebs nuk i rezistoj dhe s\u2019mundem dot ta shpjegoj q\u00eb kam p\u00ebrpara shkrimeve t\u00eb vjetra t\u00eb padeshifrueshme. P\u00ebrmbajtjet e fshehta q\u00eb s\u2019duan t\u2019i zbulojm\u00eb, m\u00eb duken si nj\u00eb hymn ndaj moskuptimit, si nj\u00eb p\u00ebrballje me kufizimet tona p\u00ebr t\u00eb zbuluar t\u00eb panjohur\u00ebn. Nuk jam n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb llogaris dobin\u00eb e k\u00ebtij shkrimi, por kjo s\u2019m\u00eb pengon q\u00eb ai t\u2019m\u00eb t\u00ebrheq\u00eb e t\u2019m\u00eb flas\u00eb.
\n\u00cbsht\u00eb padyshim e panjohura, e padukshmja, gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb ta b\u00ebjm\u00eb ton\u00ebn, apo ta em\u00ebrojm\u00eb, q\u00eb m\u00eb terheq. T\u2019u gjesh nj\u00eb kuptim imazheve t\u00eb mia apo t\u2019i interpretosh ato me fjal\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb thot\u00eb q\u00eb ke th\u00ebn\u00eb gjith\u00e7ka mbi to. K\u00ebto imazhe q\u00eb krijoj, q\u00eb formojn\u00eb tablon\u00eb e ardhshme, a dalin v\u00ebrtet pa dijenin\u00eb time?
\nE nd\u00ebrgjegjshmja dhe e pand\u00ebrgjegjshmja kryq\u00ebzohen, pa mundur ta mposhtin nj\u00ebra-tjetr\u00ebn, si dita me nat\u00ebn, si jeta me vdekjen. Kur nj\u00ebra vjen, tjetra nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb.
\nE l\u00eb dor\u00ebn t\u00eb guxoj\u00eb, e nxis t\u00eb mos ket\u00eb frik\u00eb nga aksidentet, se i konsideroj si burim udh\u00ebsh t\u00eb paparashikuara. Por n\u00eb kryq\u00ebzime m\u00eb duhet t\u00eb zgjedh. I konsideroj krijimet e mia si krijime shpirt\u00ebrore q\u00eb i b\u00ebjn\u00eb jehon\u00eb bot\u00ebs s\u00eb brendshme t\u00eb njeriut. P\u00ebr mua jan\u00eb nj\u00eb udh\u00ebtim mes temave themelore si lindja, vdekja, \u00e7ifti, ferri, parajsa, m\u00ebrgimi, internimi, burgosja, historia e artit, rilindja, gjendjet shpirt\u00ebrore, feja, vuajtjet, g\u00ebzimi. K\u00ebto tema jan\u00eb m\u00eb evidente n\u00eb vepr\u00ebn time \u201cBlack Box\u201d dhe b\u00ebhen p\u00ebrher\u00eb e m\u00eb abstrakte gjat\u00eb viteve t\u00eb fundit e ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht n\u00eb \u201cCodex 333\u201d. Ky udh\u00ebtim \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb ftes\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb deshifruar nj\u00eb jet\u00eb n\u00eb heshtje, n\u00eb soditje. Duhen par\u00eb gjestet p\u00ebrtej asaj q\u00eb duket, format dhe ngjyrat e konceptit q\u00eb kam zbuluar n\u00eb p\u00ebrndjekje t\u00eb s\u00eb panjohur\u00ebs.
\nT\u00eb \u00e7lirohemi, t\u00eb dehemi, t\u00eb modifikojm\u00eb peisazhet,\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a0t\u00eb fluturojm\u00eb drejt perspektivave zenitale pa pika orientimi. T\u00eb bijm\u00eb lart.
\nVepra ime i reflekton k\u00ebto kritere. Nxit reflektimin dhe debatin, me r\u00ebnd\u00ebsin\u00eb q\u00eb i jep t\u00eb padukeshmes si e p\u00ebrjetshme, ndaj t\u00eb dukshmes si e p\u00ebrkohshme.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bujar Luca<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00ab\u00a0P.S.
\nKa shum\u00eb krijues, shkrimtar\u00eb, kompozitor\u00eb, piktor\u00eb, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt gjat\u00eb karrier\u00ebs s\u00eb tyre, vendosin t\u00eb zhdukin vepra, t\u00eb cilat ata mendojn\u00eb q\u00eb nuk duhet t\u00eb mbijetojn\u00eb, duke konsideruar q\u00eb k\u00ebto vepra nuk duhet t\u00eb njihen nga publiku. Fatin q\u00eb t\u00eb vendos vet\u00eb se cilat vepra duheshin zhdukur dhe cilat duheshin ruajtur p\u00ebr periudh\u00ebn e krijimtaris\u00eb n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri, nuk e kam patur. Kur u largova nga Shqiperia mora me vete disa vizatime dhe piktura q\u00eb mendoja t\u2019i ekspozoja. Kurr\u00eb nuk e kisha menduar q\u00eb gjith\u00eb veprat q\u00eb lash\u00eb n\u00eb atelier dhe n\u00eb shtepi, nuk do t\u2019i gjeja m\u00eb. Atelieri ishte vjedhur dhe shkat\u00ebrruar, pak m\u00eb von\u00eb uzurpuar. Nd\u00ebrsa n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi kishin mbetur vet\u00ebm pikturat e varura n\u00ebp\u00ebr mure. \u201cMuzat e drynosura\u201d, duke shqyer dollapin e vjet\u00ebr nuk dihej nga kishin flutururuar.
\nKjo humbje e pad\u00ebshiruar e cungon dhe e varf\u00ebron k\u00ebt\u00eb retrospektiv\u00eb.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00ab\u00a0\u201cTouching the invisible\u201d
\nBujar Luca Studying painting and gravure prints in the Art School and the Higher Institute of Arts
\n(1969 \u2013 1977)\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00ab\u00a0The life of each one of us depends on some encounters, on the acquaintance with some people, who will then play an important role in our life. Such encounters have been instrumental in constantly changing the flow of my life, or making it possible that my life is heading in the direction that I was hoping for.
\nWere such encounters just a coincidence? There is no way I can be sure that should have taken place, but perhaps yes, if we think that what we want so much with all our heart will often come to pass. I am grateful to such encounters, the good luck, or the recommenda- tion of their occurrence.
\nI was born in 1954 and I spent my childhood walking on the green grass in my neighbourhood at Kodra e Kuqe, amidst fields sloping down to the river of Tirana.
\nA quarter of an hour on foot from the centre of Tirana, my home was situated amongst the hundreds of the old Tirana homes built of mud-bricks and surrounded by private gardens. The custom had it that amongst good neighbours, who would often be related to one another, a small door for communication was insert- ed into the common walls to allow passage from one
\ngarden onto the other. Amidst the fruit-trees and in the cool shade that the trees provided, in our activities we availed ourselves of such environment and our time
\nof innocence. Real acrobats that we were, we would \u2018walk\u2019 on our hands for tens of metres, and I could describe my childhood as a time spent in a vertically inverted orientation.
\nI would later on regret this practice of looking at the world from an upside-down position, whenever I thought about it. After dusk, darkness would soon envelop Tirana given that only the city centre would
\nbe illuminated. Further on, some wooden lamp-posts would here and there illuminate the streets. Such dark- ness, rather than staggering my imagination, would fire it. And along with the bats, the first stars would appear in the limitless sky, and then the glowing night sky would become the endless plains in which I fancied the adventures lying in store for me. It would be the dicta- torship what would later on try to set a limit on and clip the wings of my imagination.
\nMost of the teachers of my generation had been trained in the Soviet Union and the rest in the East-Eu- ropean countries, including Czechoslovakia, Poland, and so on. They would go out of their way to impose an exclusive pictorial concept on us, namely that of social- ist realism, which excluded influences of both the\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a0Byzantine painting, the Italian primitivism of the Italian Renaissance and the classical, neoclassical, romantic and impressionist painting, as well as any influence of contemporary western painting from the 20th century.
\nWhat we had to annihilate and be merciless about in our creations were subjectivism and formalism, no matter which way they came from.
\nIn Albania, we suffered the \u2018butterfly effect.\u2019 When the minutest thing, the most insignificant change, a statement made by leaders in the Soviet Union, and later on, in China, reached us, such \u2018bright lessons\u2019
\nwould be transformed into violent storms and spiritual disasters for us. We would go to great lengths to advo- cate restrictions, indeed much more than all the other East-European countries, with all of them without exception being considered as revisionists and traitors to Marxism-Leninism.
\nI had already entered the Art School when I started to learn French and Italian by myself, without a teacher. Very soon I tried my hand at translating short texts, poems, articles from magazines and art books. I would also pass such translations on to some of my friends whom I trusted. During that time, I would in the same way get hold of texts and books translated by my ac- quaintances and unknown persons. While I was work- ing on my diploma in my last year in the Art School, I was allowed to borrow books from the library of the Higher Institute of Arts. I was going to defend my di- ploma in the Branch of Graphic Design, newly opened in the Art School. It was the first time for an Art School student to defend their diploma in graphic design and I was the only one.
\nIt was also the first time that Art School students\u2019 admission to the Higher Institute of Arts would not be subject to a competitive selection process, but to the committee\u2019s assessment of the diploma works. For the purpose of my diploma, I presented over 10 gravure prints made from a linocut. There were only a few books on gravure prints to consult in the library of the Higher Institute of Arts. The last-year students from the Higher Institute of Arts were also acting as my teachers; however, their knowledge was limited; their examples would include works of several painters from the preceding generation and some carefully selected reproductions from the 19th century, such as K\u00e4the Koll\u00ebitz, Th\u00e9ophile Steinler and Jean-Fran\u00e7ois Millet, as well as from the 20th century, such as Franc Maser- eel, but never a contemporary gravure print. There was a serious lack of tools. After I carved the gravures on the linoleum, I had to apply pressure manually because we did not have a printing press. Lack of materials both in the Art School, and later on, in the Higher Institute of Arts, would prevent us from getting to know them. We had access to paintbrushes and oil paints of the poorest quality that ever existed, and no one had the technical skills to teach us how we could do a \u2018sfumato\u2019 and a velatura, or what was the difference between a classical French painting and the Italian Baroque. You did the painting by giving your all, by undoing things, by trial and error, because we had no knowledge about the technical skills to build the various phases you are required to know and master in order to produce a work of art. The first thing that the eye could see in a painting was the trouble borne by the author in order to do that painting, at times indeed strenuous exertion, which but made you feel sorry for the poor painter.
\nThe worst of them all was that there was nothing to compare this creativity with; this was impossible to be done either by the authors or the public. The only option left to us was to compare one another\u2019s works, which automatically led to uniformity.
\nHowever, the gravure prints submitted for the purpose of my Art School diploma and the committee\u2019s assess- ment paved the way for my admission to the Higher Institute of Arts.
\nI was grateful to the committee for that, even though a good number of its members would a few years later prevent me from displaying my works over a long peri-
\nod of time. A lot of debate took place about the graphic works, but I was impressed by what a painter, whom I did not know, had to say. When I asked around who he was, I was told that, \u2018It would have been better for you if he had not taken the floor and had not spoken highly of you, because the committee members do not like him. His name is Llambi Blido.\u2019
\nVery soon Llambi Blido and I would strike up a firm friendship, and his love of art and his search, which had nothing to do whatsoever with the art of socialist realism, would become an important source of inspira- tion for me.
\nI was a student in the Higher Institute of Arts. That was happiness. However, such happiness was not meant to last long. While in the first year in the Institute, thanks to my knowledge of foreign languages and the access to libraries in the capital city, I was able to consult numerous books, to make comparisons and grasp the wide gap between the art, that they were trying to teach me, and the western art. I realised the impor- tance of conducting theorical research, and in the es- says on my classmates\u2019 works or during debates about art, I tried to introduce between the lines concepts that were new to us, the students.
\nInitially, these debates were also supported by our dean, who urged me to put the debated articles up on\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a0the walls of the Higher Institute of Arts, and for some time, Zana Varvarica and I joined efforts to ensure that we carried on with such initiative. In the same year, seeing my efforts to create a harmony of colours on the canvas, independently of the still life that he had shown us and we had to imitate, my professor of painting expressed his doubt whether I was colour-blind. We must never break from reality; it had to be faithfully copied. This caused me to go for graphic art in my second year, where I would at least imitate the reality in black and white.
\nMy teachers\u2019 rapport with imitation of the reality was not conditional on their lack of culture alone (some of them were educated and with good taste). Such rap- port was made conditional on the party policy, on the disapproval of formalism and subjectivism. However, a number of teachers were watching not without inter- est what was happening around the world. Some would take things to the next level; foreign influences could also be felt in their works, though less so in their monu- mental works, but much more significantly in the works of small dimensions. And still, they failed to accept the plastic means in the realisation of a work, and their rap- port with the influences from various times in art was extremely rigid and limited, much poorer than what was the case with the other East-European countries.
\nNo intimacy could ever be found in their art. Devoid of a future, only the outside of their painting could be seen. Their painting was lacking the most elementary feelings, such as joy, pain and hope, let alone convey- ing nuanced and more sophisticated feelings, such as contemplation, compassion, reflection, melancholy or
\nthe feelings that move us in a picture, which we are not able to name because the author has revealed them.
\nTowards the end of my second year in the Higher Institute of Arts, I had to submit sketches and drawings regarding my ideas for the draft diploma. Even though we were left a tight schedule to present our ideas,
\nI worked very hard and managed to prepare seven compositions in pencil and black ink on the topic of the National Liberation War, and specifically the battle for the liberation of Tirana. The fifteen members of the committee were among the best renowned sculptors, painters, graphic designers and art directors of the time. It was always the same committee (with minor changes), which decided on the works to be accepted or not for display in the national exhibitions.
\nIn the introduction to my draft diploma, I had explained that for my compositions I had been inspired by the memoirs written by Prime Minister Mehmet Shehu, who had led such war and was its hero.
\nSurprisingly, the chair of the committee, who would usually wrap up the debates, was the first to take the floor. He pointed out that my compositions did not represent our partisans\u2019 heroic war; instead, every composition was anti-heroic; the presentation of the battle for Tirana was reviewed, and I had made a faulty judgement about it.\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a0\u2018You have not drawn inspiration from our Prime Minis- ter\u2019s book, as you are saying,\u2019 the chair said addressing himself to me, \u2018instead, you\u2019ve derived inspiration from Ismail Kadare\u2019s book about the battle for Tirana (actu- ally, this book had seen the light of day fairly recently).\u2019
\nWhat astonished me most was that the chair was talking about Ismail Kadare as if he was talking about a forbidden and revisionist author and book, while the book was to be found in the bookstores and had neither been banned nor criticised. Why the stance? Who was such anger and ill feeling aimed at? Animos- ity towards Kadare? Kadare and I had already known each other by then. He wanted me to design his book covers, and a poetry book, whose cover was designed
\nby me, had already been published. However, following intervention with the League of Writers and Artists permission to publish the cover I had designed for a second print run of The Great Winter, which Kadare liked very much, was not granted. And in order to stop me from designing Kadare\u2019s book covers, the Secretary for Figurative Art, Kujtim Buza (who had always been kind to me), was obliged to summon me to his office.
\n\u2018Covers must be designed by painters employed spe- cifically for this job with the Naim Frash\u00ebri Publishing House,\u2019 he told me.
\nThe chair of the committee went on saying that I had got such ideas perhaps from as a result of my social- ising with people, such as painter Llambi Blido, who I should stop hanging out with, according to him.
\nWas he worried about my draft diploma or my hanging out with people he did not abide? Llambi Blido had over a long time been rejected as an artist, and as of the last two years, he had been a true and rare friend. The two of us would often join our mutual and highly valued friend Burhan Cami.
\n\u2018You should have closely studied the works done in this context by our outstanding artists,\u2019 the chair went on. \u2018You should have closely studied, for instance, Andrea\u2019s \u201cUnknown Partisan\u201d (Andrea Mano, a sculptor, created the work in 1949, and was present in the debate in his capacity as a committee member).\u2019 The chair went on turning to Andrea: \u2018Andrea! What is your opinion of Bujar\u2019s partisans and these compositions?\u2019
\nWell, poor Andrea had retired long ago. Under the said conditions, even if he had taken a liking to my work,
\nhe would never speak highly of my partisans. Instead, he dismissed them to the extent that his senility and servility allowed him. Another important committee member took the floor and strongly pointed out that the chair\u2019s critique was given mildly, that my compo- sitions deserved much harsher criticism. At this very moment, one of the committee members picked up one of my drawings in order to see it close up. Another one next to him saw that there was an illustration on the back of the page with my drawing on, and out of\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a0curiosity turned it over in order to see it. O my God! A sacrilege had been committed! A painting of a por- trait of Stalin had been reproduced on the back of the page with my drawing. The committee members\u2019 faces showed profound and immediate indignation.
\nI had gone too far! No respect for the art of socialist realism (the painter, who had painted Stalin\u2019s portrait, had been in the Soviet Union, and had perhaps taught the committee members), no respect for the figure of Stalin, so taking action on me became inevitable.
\nEven though I weighed in and tried to explain that what had happened was through lack of paper (and it was true; we found it very difficult to obtain paper for our drawings; the sheet of paper with Stalin\u2019s portrait, on the back of which I had made my drawing, was part of an album published in the Soviet Union, which I had
\ngot hold and made use of not for the purpose of my reproductions, but for the purpose of using the blank reverse of the pages and because it was quality paper on which I could draw), they did not listen to me. The committee determined to ask me out of the room and let me waiting in the hallway until a decision was made for me. I waited anxiously for almost half an hour, and finally, they had me back in the room. In a threatening tone, they declared that my draft diploma had been cancelled, that I had been expelled from school for a year, and that during that year I had to come up with another idea so that I could defend my diploma later.
\nI had just lost my brother, who died in an accident at the age of 30 years. He had been a great support for me and my sister, who was also going to university. We were only subsisting on my father\u2019s pension, and the decision to extend completion of the Higher Institute of Arts by one year stressed me out; I was at a cross- roads.
\nAs against promises to be hired as a teacher in the Higher Institute of Arts (with such promises having been made by the committee chair himself two years before), or as an opera designer (with such promises having been made by the party secretary in the Opera and Ballet Theatre, who was teaching philosophy at the Higher Institute of Arts), upon my graduation I received a proposal to go to Berat and teach drawing.
\nAfter having refused to go to Berat, it took me a huge amount of effort, as well as days, weeks and months, indeed more than one year out of work, and endless hours in different offices to finally make it as a costume designer in the Shqip\u00ebria e Re Film-studio. Work in the Film-studio soon gave me the prompt for the idea to defend my diploma. For the purpose of defending my diploma I suggested to use film posters. Now I did not run the risk of erring. All I needed to do was to include in my works illustrations of the films already approved by numerous committees. My idea was accepted. For my diploma work I prepared 10 film posters. Nearly half of them were printed and distributed given that they were prepared for films just produced. I got a very good mark in my diploma. And one chapter of my life was closed.
\nFinally, I had officially graduated as a graphic design- er. Starting a career in painting, for me, had been like having to move through the fog. There was no one out there to teach you how to see as you moved forwards almost blindly. Instead, it would have been reasonable if the opposite had been the case: at the beginning of our career path, they should have helped us in order to be able to see, and only after we had proved capable of seeing fine, we might have been allowed to move forwards blindly.
\nI could now work on my own, in the isolation of the atelier, while not being obliged to imitate the reality by employing an arbitrary plastic language.
\nI had already understood that not only was politics of no interest to me, but, above all, it was disgusting given its level and baseness, and that to me, the Homeland, the way it was introduced by the communists, could not be everything. Readings from the forbidden gos- pels had inspired in me God as the finale of love, and I would find this God within me. I was convinced that the pure-hearted ordinary man is indeed superior to the citizen not free of political interference. I wanted to be a good man.\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a01977 \u2013 1990
\nUpon graduation from the Higher Institute of Arts, I did a painting and submitted it with the intention of taking part in a national exhibition. The exhibition committee rejected my work, which depicted the battle for Tirana. In order to learn the rationale for rejection, I tried and finally was able to put the question directly to the com- mittee chair for that exhibition, who told me: \u2018The ra- tionale for rejection is that your painting is romantic.\u2019 I took the courage to ask him where was it that he would see its romanticism. \u2018In the characters\u2019 new cloth-
\ning and the smooth painted surface,\u2019 he replied with confidence, showing no hesitation. I would have never expected to hear a more absurd phrase to summarise a movement, such as Romanticism. What was there left for me to discuss after such an answer?
\nSeveral months later, another composition portraying the theme of the war in Vlora had the same bad luck.
\nI was not able to get any explanation. The committee was oftentimes inaccessible.
\nIn 1979, we were shooting the film \u2018Freedom or death\u2019 on the Albanian hero \u00c7er\u00e7iz Topulli, and I was the cos- tume designer in this film. Every single day, I was close to the famous actor Timo Flloko starring the hero. One day I asked Timo, who was dressed and made up for \u00c7er\u00e7iz\u2019s role, if he could pose as a model so that I could paint his portrait and submit it for the next exhibition. Timo Flloko agreed and I made the portrait. Truly wish- ing that such work obtained the committee\u2019s approval, I did some searching and found out who the chair of the committee was going to be. And to make sure that I had directed my work on the right path, I asked for an appointment with him. I wanted to show him my work in case he might have some remark to make, and in the meantime, I could make the corrections.
\nThe chair agreed to meet me. He had no remarks whatsoever to make about the portrait, but suggested if I could add a muzzle to the portrait, which I did. After that, I was sure that the portrait would be displayed
\nin the exhibition. However, after I checked the entire room, I understood that my portrait had not made it there. It had been rejected because, according to the committee, in my painting \u00c7er\u00e7iz\u2019s portrait is a remind- er of Christ\u2019s portrait.
\nEven though it was not difficult to understand what the committee was looking for, many artists would always wait anxiously to hear whether their works would
\nget the approval or not. Disapproval did not concern foreign influences alone. Above all, disapproval was about the committee\u2019s intention to definitively domi- nate the consciousness of each and every artist so as to convince them that the committee was the only one that possessed the truth in art and could put it into execution. No one else except them could know (even though I doubt whether they themselves knew) where the line between the permitted and the forbidden was drawn. This allowed the committee to make incontest- able arbitrary judgements, indeed fanciful judgements. Everyone was at the command of the committee.
\nFollowing these failures, I made less attempts to submit works intended to be put on display. Nevertheless, in order to justify the right to purchase painting supplies in the only shop distributing them (of course not for free), based on a list of names approved by the League of Writers and Artists, and where merited artists could purchase high quality supplies and the others low quality supplies, and to be entitled to take the creative leave (one month a year), I would now and then submit works for exhibitions, mainly landscapes, which re- quired less effort. Even so, I had lost hope that one day they would be exhibited.
\nHowever, these unpretentious attempts did never get me a spot in any exhibition, with rejection being each time accompanied by the phrase \u2018it reveals influences of western art.\u2019
\nI was not and did not want to be a revolutionary. The \u2018revolutionaries\u2019 were those who had brought down and destroyed everything I loved. They could not be a role model for me. I did not want to go on making the same mistake. I could not live with violence.
\nI refused to imitate them and endorse their ideas.
\nIn the intimacy of my studio and surrounded by my friends, I would do the opposite, being always aware that all of that was not enough to overthrow them, always hoping that leaving my country, as the only way out, would be made possible one day.
\nI was also aware that, for as long as I would be living un- der that regime, my ideal would be either a utopia or a blind alley. However, my idea was that, if I refined such ideal over and over again and treasured it in my heart, I would at least be at peace with myself.
\nI was one of the youngest among the rejected painters. Quite a number of artists from the preceding genera- tion had been punished with imprisonment for foreign influences. Several painters had opted for \u2018an under- ground life\u2019: in silence, they made efforts to find them- selves through their art. Instead of causing some artists to break from the \u2018Forbidden muse,\u2019 imprisonment of Edison Gjergo, Ali Oseku and Maks Velo for manifes- tation of western art influences in their works, and for subjective and counter-revolutionary attempts in the way in which life was reflected, pushed them harder towards it. No one in this group of painters, where I also belonged, was favourably disposed towards the idea of martyrdom.
\nLike Kafka\u2019s characters, we had agreed to remain unknown to the public. However, we had created a microcosm representing our dream, or perhaps, our nightmare, namely a microcosm of our closest friends.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00ab\u00a0Llambi Blido, Besim Tula, Alush Shima, Ali Oseku, Agim Mujo and others continued to work on their own. Even though they themselves were hopeless and desper- ate, their paintings were often rendered in vivid and sparkling colours in defiance of that life in the shadows. Together we were able to understand the importance of forgiveness where there were only convictions, and look for taste where there was only vulgarity.
\nEach one of my finished works was crammed into an old locked cupboard. Like in Rimbaud\u2019s Le Buffet, no one knew what stories these \u2018Locked muses\u2019 would like to tell us when the doors opened.
\nMy works would continue to be rejected from 1977, when I graduated from the Higher Institute of Arts, un- til 1989. In 1986, the go-ahead was given for a personal exhibition to be staged in the halls of the Palace of Cul- ture in Tirana. It did not represent my paintings, but my creations as a costume designer for the Film-studio. To me, such exhibition was already a stroke of good luck.
\nThese creations, realised by using different techniques on paper and cardboard, brought about known char- acters from the most successful films of the Albanian cinematography. This is what the well-known painter and art director Shaban Hysa wrote in the Drita news- paper: \u2018Visiting the exhibition is a pleasure on account of the fact that exhibits are treated both as objects and paintings. Besides, the exhibition introduces a new topic for the public.\u2019
\nThis exhibition paved the way for the purchase of my works by the National Gallery of Arts for the first time. Surprisingly, the National Gallery of Arts is to date filled with works of socialist realism (most of them without any artistic value to justify their being part of the collection).
\nArguably, these works must undergo a selection pro- cess. And the works illustrating the period of socialist realism in a significant manner must only be allowed to be on display there. These works must be subject to serious criticism, by digging deep into the model\u2019s
\nsubstance these creators introduced through their art, and by making the art-lovers aware that it was precise- ly these artists, who put an art form onto some ideo- logical content distorted from the materialistic point of view, devoid of a future and devoid of spiritual ideals; who rallied the young artists behind them, lied to
\nthem and led them up a blind alley; and who convinced entire generations by leading them to the precipice of a materialistic and vulgar art revealing limited vehicles of expression, hence towards a sure death as artists.
\nThe shop selling works of art to foreign tourists could yet be considered as another lucky opportunity for some artists. Albania was not visited by many tourists. However, those few who came were able to buy at prices exceeding any competition of the works select- ed by a special committee, which was more indulgent\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a0than the exhibition committee. Many of my landscapes and compositions had been sent to this shop, but they would never tell you who purchased them.
\nA costume designer and production designer in the Film-studio, I was able to get to know Albania better than many of my contemporaries. Being short of the means of transport, the Albanians did not know their own country. During the search for filming locations, I came to know far-flung villages, mountains and coastal areas. During the stays in these places, sometimes over a long period of time, I was able to paint numerous landscapes. I liked being on my own, in places often entirely desert, under the scorching sun, which made me beam with inexplicable exaltation, and the paint- ing, the sun and the location where I happened to be, intoxicated me with happiness and gave me hope for the future. Being a Mediterranean, I felt the warmth
\nof the climate in the country I was born. Since my early days as a student in the Higher Institute of Arts I had realised that, in painting, I should not surrender to my passion, that by admiring Delacroix I did not have to leave Ingres out. \u2018I like the rule that corrects emotion. I like emotion that corrects rule,\u2019 Georges Braque wrote, and this suited me.
\nDuring this period, I would devote more time to poetry. Since Art School, I tried my hand at writing poetry,
\nand many times at translation; however, in the 80\u2019ies I would write poetry every night. Both the paintings and these poems were intended for myself and a few close friends. Their publication was beyond imagination.
\nTheir content and form had nothing in common with the approvable poetry. Even though I made use of met- aphors, the disagreements about the ideas and political life surrounding us were noticeable.
\nIt also became necessary for me to take notes on my ideas of painting and everything related to it, so as to select and \u2018collect\u2019 what seemed to be more personal in my creations. In order to strip these creations of any overstatement, I had to make an in-depth analy- sis. Hence, entire phrases were made into manifest of
\nsome sort, which I had to abide by in order to definitely bring out my personality. To date, I still do hold dear some of the phrases I wrote in the 80\u2019ies, such as \u2018As I see it, what counts the most is the speed of interpre- tation and the spontaneity, as well as the decisiveness and overstatement of such interpretation,\u2019 or \u2018In paint- ing, you have to identify your peculiarities, and figure out what sets your apart from the rest, so that your painting (just as your features distinguish you among millions of people) must be identifiable among millions of paintings.\u2019
\nIn 1985, Enver Hoxha\u2019s death did not change anything in our life. As early as the next day, obligatory meetings were called across the country\u2019s enterprises and insti- tutions, in which each one of us had to promise loyalty to the party line, thus voicing their eternal connection with the dead leader\u2019s lessons and signing a pact with\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a0him. This is what happened also in the Film-studio, where I used to work. By all means we had to be in attendance at the employees\u2019 meeting. After having heard various party members swearing an oath of loy- alty to the leader\u2019s lessons over and over again, we had to walk past a presidium, and in a register, sign this pact with the party and Enver. In this case, the Film-studio\u2019s presidium was particularly imposing, accommodating personalities from the Central Committee and the Tira- na Party Committee. I walked past the register and did not sign. For this reason, the next day I was summoned to the personnel office, where I explained that I had not been able to sign the register because others behind me, anxious to affix their signatures, had pushed me away.
\nIt was not long before I was asked to go to the Youth Central Committee offices, where I was told that I had been selected to contribute as a painter (along with other colleagues) in decorating the museum to be devoted to Enver Hoxha. I told them that I took pride in the thought, but that such pride did not stop me from feeling that I was not worthy and capable of deserving such an honour. They insisted telling me that I had been selected not by them, but by my artist colleagues, who could not be wrong. I asked them for more time
\nto reflect. Advising me not to delay giving the reply, they added that the selected artists would be offered rewards not to be overlooked: studios would be given to those artists who did not have one, each one of them would be granted a long-term creative leave, each one of them would have access to valuable painting sup- plies, and they would be sent abroad to visit museums across Europe. What they were promising sounded attractive, but my reply was still no.
\n1987. We were travelling from Kruja in a jeep owned by the Film-studio. The Film-studio director Mr. Viktor Gjika, who was in the front seat, turned around and asked me, \u2018Do you speak French, Bujar?\u2019 \u2018Yes,\u2019 I answered. \u2018Have you taken the French exam? \u2018No,\u2019 I answered. \u2018Then, we don\u2019t have much time,\u2019 he told me.
\nEverybody knew what such dialogue meant. My director was thinking to send me abroad. This would be a most wonderful thing, a stroke of very good luck for an Albanian. One month later, I took the French exam and my highest mark was 80 per cent out of 100 per cent. Viktor Gjika proposed my name as a candidate for a two-month long course in Paris, for the purpose of studying the special effects in movies. And until this was made possible in January 1989, he supported me with all his forces, despite the numerous interventions from those who had friends in the Prime Minister\u2019s Office and in the Central Committee and wanted to replace my name in the list (as he acknowledged it to me many years later in Paris).
\n1987. Llambi Blido presents me with an unpublishable text that he writes on top of my painting. Amongst others he underlines that, \u2018Bujar Luca\u2019s painting originates in the colours. What impressed him first was the harmony of colours. What impresses him now is the infinity. He found infinity in a gesture, as blaring and quick as lightening, as furious as tam-tam of gong, and as swift as vulture\u2019s hiss in a moonlit night.
\n\u2018In his way of thinking, the subject both does and does not exist. What counts is the subject\u2019s echo in his soul. The produced echo is diffused by means of rhythmi- cal strokes floating across the surface of the canvas,
\nrepresenting deep space in his canvas. What the reality has built based on the rules of prose, the artist would rebuild based on the rules of poetry. The gaze of the viewer automatically follows such poetic rhythm, fleet- ing through it towards the explosions of colours leaving his painting like fountains overflooding everything, in happy harmony, in furious happiness. Innovation gen- erated by the artistic idea is what attracts Bujar Luca to move impetuously from one canvas onto the next.\u2019
\n1989. Thanks to the Film-studio director Mr. Viktor Gjika, I spent the first two months of the year in Paris. I was there to attend a course on special effects in movies, which was to take place mainly in the French television studios (SFP). There I got acquainted with decorator Jacques Brul\u00e9 and his wife Josette, who
\nwould be an important support for me when, in August 1990, I would again depart for Paris, however, this time on a one-way trip. I was immensely impressed by the museums and galleries in Paris. What divided us was not a ditch but an abyss.
\nWhat sacrifices were required to fill this gaping abyss?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The chair of the Leage for Figurative Art Mr. Petro Kokushta, a talented painter and a man of culture, who had also been my teacher in the Higher Institute of Arts, made a proposal to me to open a personal exhibition in the Palace of Culture. He also told me that the works would still be selected by a committee.
\nIt was October. The very fact that they had chosen me was no coincidence. Neither was it an accidental desire on their part to let me open an exhibition. Such pro- posal was made in the wake of the events paving the way for important changes in Eastern Europe. The fall of the Berlin Wall, which finally marked the overthrow of the communist system, would take place in the first days of November. Such proposal was an attempt by the League for Figurative Art to show some kind of opening, an example indicating that some kind of innovation was evident. How would such innovation be received? Any- thing could happen. My concern seemed only proper.
\nNonetheless, I decided to accept the proposal. They did what they said they would do: a reduced commit- tee selected nearly 40 paintings and the exhibition was opened. In this way, the exhibition was the first of its kind to mark the beginning of some measured tolerance in the figurative art, and my paintings in this exhibition had nothing in common with the topics that typically used to dominate the exhibition halls. Instead, every- thing, namely the plastic language, points of view and colours, was personal, new to the public and intimate.
\nThe exhibition was a success. Inauguration attendance exceeded my expectations. The most well-known artists were present: actors, journalists, film and theatre di- rectors, politicians, the illustrious writer Ismail Kadare and his wife, my closest friends and others. The largest number of the most important newspapers would pro- vide coverage for the exhibition. It is worthwhile under- scoring the articles by A. Kallulli published in the Drita newspaper or by N. Lako in the Z\u00ebri i Rinis\u00eb newspaper.
\nIn an interview with journalist Virgjil Mu\u00e7i, I pointed out that, \u2018It has been my wish to make sure that innovation in my work primarily related to sensitivity, to emotion that life surrounding us elicits. An artist must communi- cate in the language of his time, and must make efforts to transform an external subject through the perspec- tive of a personal motif: not imitate it.\u2019
\nHowever, an article published in the most important newspaper of the time, Z\u00ebri i Popullit, criticised the ex- hibition for the \u2018foreign influences\u2019 manifested in my painting. Yet I had to take greater precautions to avoid ending up a convict.
\nThis precise exhibition would be instrumental in achiev- ing my dream of leaving that regime, because it was there that I came to know Daniel Hauet-Mercier, a Frenchman, who had a particular liking for painting, and several months later, invited me to open an exhibition in France.\tAnother event would take place prior to my departure from my homeland, which would be of importance to my future life in Paris.
\nEnd of April. Beginning of May 1990. For the first time in Albania, after 45 years, cultural personalities from the Louvre Museum, and journalists and photographers from the Connaissance des Arts cultural magazine arrived from France to hold a few conferences on art and write the first story on the Albanian cultural heritage and plas- tic arts. I happened to be in the National Gallery of Arts and, given that I spoke French, the Gallery director asked me if I could accompany Mr. Jean Pierre Cuzin, at that time head of the painting department in Louvre, on a visit to the Gallery. Mr. Cuzin and I walked together through the Gallery halls. Tens of paintings from the period of so- cialist realism were soon on view for Mr. Cuzin to see. He would now and then stop in front of some painting, telling me, \u2018What a talent! Unfortunately, misused.\u2019
\nAs we were walking down the stairs, he stopped. On his right, a huge painting caught his eye. He asked me, \u2018What\u2019s this?\u2019 \u2018A painting,\u2019 I answered giving him a polite smile. Basically, this painting portrayed a worker on top of an iron tower, who, full of pride, his eyes on the fu- ture, was heroically coping with the wind howling from all directions. This painting represented the symbol of the new socialist man. \u2018Has he been forced to do the painting?\u2019 Mr. Cuzin asked me. \u2018Oh, no, no,\u2019 I said, but he did not seem to believe my answer. Talking quietly, he said: \u2018I am sure that, one more step, and this colossus will tumble down for ever.\u2019
\nIt was but a prologue. As a matter of fact, several months later the wind blew in such fitful gusts that it knocked down both the heroes of paintings and their immortal inspirers.
\nThose days, the League for Figurative Art invited a number of artists to a meeting with the group of French journalists and critics to take place in the building of the French Embassy. During the cocktail put on for the oc- casion, Edi Rama, being one of the young artists, and I introduced ourselves to art critic Denis Picard. Talking to him, we acquainted him with some of the difficulties relating to our creativity. Intrigued by the conversation with us, he asked whether he could see our works. We told him that it was not possible without permission from the chair of the League Mr. Petro Kokushta, who was present there. Picard asked to be introduced to the chair and asked permission from him to visit both Edi\u2019s studio and my studio. Finding himself in a fix, the chair agreed to this visit.
\nThe visit was arranged for the next day in my home, where, besides Edi Rama, Edi Hila would also bring along his own works. That is how we appeared together on the pages of this prestigious art magazine, thanks to the pictures taken in my home and my garden by the well- known photographer Arnaud Carpentier, who would later on become my closest and dearest friend in Paris.Joined by his parents and wife, Arnaud Carpentier would become an extraordinary support in my efforts to obtain my resident card in France and join the artistic circles.
\nThe invitation to open an exhibition in Paris reached me at the beginning of August. On account of the events that had taken place in Tirana at that time, the French Embas- sy was close and was impossible to obtain a visa. As luck would have it, while speaking with my friend Luan Rama about this invitation and the unlikelihood to contact the Embassy, Luan (who, by then, was no longer working in the Film-studio, but in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs) told me that we could call the Embassy from his home and discuss the issue. Perhaps a solution might be found.
\nLuan dialled the number and handed me the telephone. From the other end of the line, I heard that a person an- swered the telephone and introduced himself. I intro- duced myself as well. And, much to my surprise, I heard the Frenchman saying, \u2018How is it possible to have Mr. Bujar Luca on the line? I have been trying for years to get to know you and to no avail. I have purchased your paintings from the souvenir shop. I have a collection of them now. We must meet by all means.\u2019
\nI explained to him the reason why I was calling. He told me that he would do his best that a visa was issued to me. We agreed to meet a few days later at the souvenir shop that sold paintings. When we met a few days later at the souvenir shop, Mr. Emmanuel Rousseau caught me by the arm, and after directing me towards the win- dow panes looking out onto the street, told me, \u2018The car behind mine belongs to the security forces. They follow me wherever I go. To them, I am the number one enemy of the regime.\u2019
\nI showed him the invitation I had received to open an exhibition. He told me he would do his best and would come back to me in a week\u2019s time. \u2018If you want, I may help you take out of the country what you cannot carry to the plane,\u2019 he added. This is how I was able to take out of the country, amongst others, my poetry books. We met again the next week. He explained to me that it was not possible for me to obtain a visa because of the extraordi- nary situation they were having at the Embassy. Howev- er, I would be able to land at the airport in Paris because the airport authorities had been notified by the French Ministry of Foreign Affairs to allow me to enter French territory. Emmanuel told me that, on the departure day, he would be at the Rinas Airport to see to it that no problems were created for me. What a stress! In order to dispel any doubts, I bought two return tickets, for my wife and myself, for which I paid 180.000 lek\u00eb, which was equal to 30 months\u2019 salary from my job as an intellectual.
\nWould I be able to board that airplane? Would they allow me to enter the Charles de Gaulle Airport? The paintings for the exhibition had already been packed and would not be unpacked for checking at the Rinas Airport, be- cause that had already been taken care of by a customs officer in my home.\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a0Thursday, 23 August 1990. When I arrived at the Rinas Airport, Mr. Emmanuel Rouseau was waiting for me and stayed behind to see the airplane taking off. At the Charles de Gaulle Airport everything went smoothly as expected. Finally, in Paris again. This time, perhaps for ever.
\n1990
\nNow my censored muse, once crammed into the locked cupboard, could make good use of the time in order to walk in the Jardin du Luxembourg and along the Champs Elis\u00e9, visit museums and galleries, read forbidden books, listen to music in Saint Germain des Pr\u00e9s, and hear mass at the Saint-\u00c9tienne-du-Mont or Saint-Sulpice.
\nThe Connaissance des Arts magazine, featuring the ar- ticle on the Albanian art and painting heritage, was pub- lished in September. On two pages, it carried my photo amidst paintings in my atelier in Tirana. The article laid emphasis on the individualistic tendencies prevailing over the collectivist ones in the works of young artists, including Edi Rama, Bujar Luca and Edi Hila.
\nIn October, at the invitation of Daniel Hauet-Mercier I opened the exhibition in Buxy, Chalon-sur-Sa\u00f4ne. In the Le Journal de Saone-et-Loire newspaper they would write that it was the first exhibition by a young painter, being one of the representational artists of the Albanian contemporary art, who had come from Albania. Many paintings were sold. The beginning promised to be quite encouraging. The Prefect of Chalon-sur-Sa\u00f4ne himself bought a painting, which would serve to do a piece of upholstery in the Tisca Atelier, to be put up later on in the Prefecture.
\nIn February 1991, I opened an exhibition in Paris. It was the first for me, but also the first personal exhibition for an Albanian artist.
\nThe Connaissance des Arts magazine carried an arti- cle under the title \u2018Tirana-Paris,\u2019 where, amongst oth- ers, they wrote that, \u2018Bujar Luca shows us landscapes, flowers, and nudes that indisputably have nothing to do with the extinct socialist realism.\u2019 I could take pride in one thing at least: my efforts to create, in the isola- tion and loneliness of my atelier in Tirana, pieces of art that would in no way be related to socialist realism, were flowing and this exhibition was my contribution to attest such effort, which had also been made by other artists in Albania while risking cruel convictions.
\nAn artist convicted by the regime, Maks Velo translated this article and published it later on in Tirana. Drawing from this text, in his congratulations extended to me he at the same time expressed his wish to see the Albanian art totally changed and renovated, so that some day it could be introduced in a dignified fashion in Europe.
\nLater on, the publication by the L\u2019Aube Publishing House of my poetry book entitled Oniromancie, with poems written in Albania in the 80\u2019ies, was indeed a justified\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a0pleasure to me. The front cover included one of my drawings in charcoal pencil and the back cover includ- ed my photo and a short text. I had never ever imag- ined that my writings could see the light of publication in France. For the translation of the texts into French I relied on the French poet Jean-Luc Moreau, who did not know a single word of Albanian. However, whenev- er I was not sure about the translation of certain words into French, I would discuss with him and tell him what I wanted to convey. And thanks to his poetic intuition, he helped me to find the right word that suited what I had written in Albanian.
\nIn April 1992, Pascale Nobecourt, a journalist with the Trouvailles magazine, wrote an article under the title \u2018Bujar Luca\u2019: \u2018There are two types of individuals: those who are ready to do everything to support a regime that flatters their interests, and those who are ready to do anything to remain faithful to themselves against a re- gime that will not stop until it sees them subjugated. But they will never surrender. It is because of them that ide- ologies end up collapsing.
\n\u2018Bujar Luca works in Paris, where he came with the purity, the emotion and the demand comprising the strength of what he calls the \u201cDon Quixotism\u201d of artists from the East. The L\u2019Aube Publishing House has published his po- ems. Reaching down inside us, these words, in the cold of a universe where man has turned into stone, speak of this \u201clittle fire,\u201d at the same time so strong and so fragile as is the desire to live.\u2019
\nThe same year, from the Eiffel Tower I granted an inter- view to the French television (France 3, interviewed by Alex Taylor), during which I pointed out that Albania, which I represented in this exhibition, was now knock- ing on Europe\u2019s door in the hope of finally joining it.
\nHowever, despite all these successes, communication with the surrounding world of art soon made me un- derstand that my creations had lost many contacts with contemporary art. There was a gap that I had to fill. I had to put forth efforts in order to grasp these concepts and adjust them in a way that they could help take my cre- ativity to the level of the time.
\nEvery day, in my numerous visits to galleries and muse- ums, I tried to dig deep and understand what I had not been able to realise in the works of art through lack of direct contact with them. In the past, physical distance and lack of their presence had caused me to look in- tensively into the reproductions I had managed to get a peek at, in order to be able to realise the technical difficulties for their realisation. Now that I was close to these works and could admire them for as long as I wanted to, I found out that it had been the fear of mak- ing mistakes what had prevented me in the past to opt for the shortcut.
\nChanges came up gradually. It is not easy to give up the beliefs and techniques acquired over time. I wished that\u00a0\u00bb\t\u00ab\u00a0my painting would not trip over consciousness and the works. I still loved the authors that I had admired. By and by, I also adjusted the tools so as to be able to do the painting I hoped for. Being keen on expressing myself through as vigorous and free movements as possible, I started to work on canvases fixed on the ground, walk- ing on them and using long paintbrushes, which allowed me to paint without bending and make moves otherwise not permitted by a painting in upright position on an ea- sel. Improvisation and spontaneity were becoming ever more of the common thread of my works. The strenuous efforts went on over a long period of time, accompanied by gnawing doubt.
\nMemories of my previous life in Albania visited me at night in my dreams, upsetting me and resurrecting past events and emotions in my heart, which I thought I would never feel any more, believing that they had been buried along with my past, and not for a single moment having any doubts that they could be projected again in my life. In my dreams, I would travel back to Albania. Quite anxious I would shout to myself, \u2018Why have you come back?\u2019 When I woke up, I could see that I was in France. Then, I was about to cry with indescribable joy: feeling happy because you have left your country where you will not go back any more!
\nI was aware: the dictatorship under which I had lived continued to harass my inner thoughts. Such nightmares and memories would harbour my new painting. Depressing stretches of time would follow the experiments with- out the expected outcome. My new painting baffled my friends, who had known my other painting. In my paint- ings, reality could no longer be discerned. In my painting, there was no depth anymore and everything was en- trusted to lines. I did not want that something from the reality was presented visibly, something that was iden- tifiable. I wanted that painting about the invisible world of the realities in our innermost self was made possible.
\nMy mission was to develop a new vision, knowing that a part of the painting I was going to create had already been imperceptibly imposed by the painters that I ad- mired. In order to move further from such influence, I gave myself to automatism, to the step without a future, leaving the brush dangling on the edge of the preci- pice, next to the unknown and hollowness. I considered myself to be an equilibrist. I would prefer the moment when you lose your footing and are in danger, when your effort to recover your balance causes you to move instinctively and it is not the reason what guides you. I wanted to paint the way we breathe. The brush had to move like the wind or like the wave of the sea and ev- erything had to be entrusted to the unexpected moves.
\nCreating an image while setting out from nothing: this does not come easily. You must place a lot of confidence in yourself. Once I made the initial gesture, I felt that the succeeding gestures knew before me where they would be heading. I just needed to be confident.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00ab\u00a0The act, namely the act of starting and carrying on a painting, called for such daring that could be measured and could triumph over the reluctance it was faced with. In front of the blank canvas, we are always afraid. In the first moments, as it is hanging in mid-air not knowing where to start, the brush resembles a swimmer jumping from a precipitous height. You need a moment of \u2018craziness\u2019 in order to snatch and dive into hollowness. You must close your eyes in order to jump. You must conquer your hesitation, your fear. There is a scene in Charlie Chaplin\u2019s Modern Times in which Chaplin is roll- er skating, with his eyes closed, executing an amazing choreography. However, after he is told to open his eyes because he is in danger, and he opens his eyes and real- izes he is really in danger, after that moment he cannot dance anymore. Why?
\nBecause he is afraid. This is precisely the difference be- tween the conscious and unconscious painting. And, in my case, the unconscious \u2018closes my eyes,\u2019 preventing me from seeing the \u2018conscious of hollowness.\u2019
\nThe technique I use in my paintings, like those in the Codex 333 series, being the works closest to this ret- rospective, hinders me from imagining the completed work, as seen by viewer at the end of the processes re- quired for its realisation. Once completed, there is no way you can intervene to make corrections or remove whatever it might be. This is that kind of technique that does not allow for repentance. I am surprised at the as- tonishing revelations I often make as to every step on the way towards its realisation, and at the outcome. I do not go from point A to point B. Point B is non-relevant. When I go out for a walk, I do not want to know the des- tination, and knowing that during that walk I must buy bread, for instance, spoils all the fun of the walk. When I go to paint, I never stop by at the bakery. I start from my own self\u2019s periphery to reach the unique towards my centre by the multiplication of the works. I paint as naturally as I write and vice-versa. In my compositions I make use of new, improvised letters, unknown to me and the viewers, unfathomable letters.
\nSuch unreadable writing that I practice originates in the attraction to the old indecipherable scripts, which I cannot resist and for which I do not have an explana- tion. The secret content they do not want us to discover sounds to me like a hymn to incomprehension, as some confrontation with our limitations to discover the un- known. I am not able to calculate the benefit of such writing; however, this does not stop it from attracting and speaking to me.
\nWhat attracts me is of course the unknown, the invisible, everything that is difficult to own or name. Finding meaning to my images or interpreting them in words does not mean that you have said everything to be said about them. Do the images, which I create and form the basis of my future painting, really unfold in a way un- known to me? The conscious and the unconscious meet, being unable to get the better of each other, like day and night, like life and death. When one of them sets in, the other is no longer there.
\nI let my hand dare. I encourage it not be afraid of accidents, which I consider as the beginning of unexpected roads. While at a crossroads, however, I must make a choice. I consider my creations as spiritual creations that resonate man\u2019s inner world. To me, they are like a journey among fundamental topics, including birth, death, couple, hell, paradise, emigration, internment, imprisonment, history of art, renaissance, moods, religion, sufferings and joy. More evident in my work The Black Box, these topics would become ever more abstract in recent years, and especially, in Codex 333. This journey is an invitation to figure out a life in silence, in contemplation. Gestures must be read beyond what is visible, being the forms and colours of the concept I have discovered in pursuit of the unknown.
\nLet ourselves go, let us get drunk, let us modify the land- scapes, let us fly towards zenithal perspectives devoid of any frames of reference. Let us fall up.
\nMy work does reflect these criteria. It urges reflection and debate, giving weight to the invisible being eternal over the visible being temporary.
\nBujar Luca<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00ab\u00a0P.S.
\nThere are many creators, writers, composers and painters, who, in the course of their career, decide to do away with works that, in their view, should not survive, considering that the public must not get to know them. I have not had the fortune to decide for myself which of the works, being a product of my creative activity in Albania, had to be done away with and which of them had to be preserved. When I left Albania, I took with me several drawings and paintings I thought I could exhibit. I had never thought that I would never find any of the works I had left at the atelier and at home. The atelier had been robbed and destroyed, and later on, occupied. The only paintings left at home were those hanging on the walls. The \u2018locked muses\u2019 had broken down the old cupboard and who knows where they had been headed to.
\nBecause of such undesired loss this retrospective does not span the course of my whole career, with the number of works exhibited being limited.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00ab\u00a0\u201cT\u00eb prek\u00ebsh t\u00eb padukshmen\u201d Vitet e studimit t\u00eb piktur\u00ebs dhe gravur\u00ebs n\u00eb Lice dhe n\u00eb Institutin e Lart\u00eb t\u00eb Arteve (1969 \u2013 1977)\u00a0\u00bb \u00ab\u00a0Kam lindur n\u00eb vitin 1954 dhe f\u00ebmijeria ime ka kaluar mbi barin e njom\u00eb t\u00eb lagjes s\u00eb Kodr\u00ebs s\u00eb Kuqe mes fushave q\u00eb zbrisnin drejt lumit t\u00eb Tiran\u00ebs. Nj\u00eb \u00e7erek ore m\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-289","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-non-classe"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bujarluca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/289","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bujarluca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bujarluca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bujarluca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bujarluca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=289"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bujarluca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/289\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bujarluca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=289"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bujarluca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=289"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bujarluca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=289"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}